Kakashi hunted through the corridors of Konoha's battle HQ, his mind on what Gai had told him, and on an incident two days ago.

He'd met up last Tuesday at the armoury with Ebisu and Gai to discuss Tenten and Sakura assisting with advanced weapons training for some of the academy students. The discussion had only taken a couple of minutes, or Kakashi would have noticed something was off with Gai a whole lot sooner.

Just as they were finishing, Kakashi remembered being interrupted by one of the Chuunin in charge of the armoury. One Idika Masuyo. He'd walked around a corner, caught sight of them, stared at Gai for half a second then backed up so suddenly he'd knocked over a stack of ledgers.

What was even stranger than Idika's behaviour, now that Kakashi was seriously analyzing it, was the fact that Gai had not rushed over to help him pick up the books; he'd turned his back on the Chuunin, finished the discussion in a couple of words and left. Idika had discreetly followed Gai's departure with his eyes...Granted, a lot of people did that with Gai; Kakashi blamed the green spandex. But it was more than that; there was something a bit off in Idika's behaviour. Even Ebisu had noticed something odd; he'd asked Kakashi about it later, though it turned out that all Ebisu had really been interested in was Idika's single status. That Ebisu was such a pervert, Kakashi thought virtuously.

Kakashi finally tracked Idika down in the scroll room where they kept the massive summons used for war and demolishing enemy battalions. Good, this place was high level security access only; the chances of being disturbed were considerably less.

Idika was twenty years old, tall and slightly handsome, Kakashi had to concede. He was popular among his peers, mainly because he was loud, amusing, efficient at what he did yet not ambitious enough to be a threat or an annoyance to anyone. He was also going to be a Chuunin all his life, if he didn't have the instincts to feel Kakashi watching him from the shadows like a wolf watching a sick, tottering fawn.

"Sir?" Idika looked surprised when Kakashi finally stepped forward; the Jounin was part of an infiltration and strike team, and had never before needed scrolls that required the cooperation of an entire tactical unit.

Kakashi leaned against the wall next to the bookshelf Idika was working at.

"Let's talk about Gai," he suggested with a friendly smile curving his eye.

Until then, Kakashi had been running on intuition and instinct, but the look on Idika's face gave him all the assurance he needed that he'd been right.

"Gai-san?" Idika managed to catch the scroll he'd fumbled. "What about him?"

Idika wouldn't last long on an undercover op; ten second, tops, Kakashi estimated, watching the thoughts flicker through the other's eyes. The younger man must have realized he'd betrayed himself; he gave a rueful half-shrug.

"I guess he told you?"

After you asked him to shut up about it, Kakashi mentally growled, I could have torn out his fingernails and he wouldn't have told me about you, you moron. Not unless Konoha's safety was in jeopardy. Hmmm, torn-out fingernails...

Idika was looking uncertainly at Kakashi's mask and the visible eye almost closed in a harmless, cheerful crescent (of course, the real fun is when you dip the fingers in lye after you rip out the nails...)

"So, how did that even happen?" Kakashi asked.

Idika relaxed and grinned sheepishly. "He didn't give you the details? Well, we ran into each other in Hangar Six the other day, and he said- he's blunt. I'll give him that. And enthusiastic. I was just off my shift and I had nearly an hour to kill before I had to meet the gang for the evening. I thought it'd be worth a shot."

Idika laughed. Kakashi laughed. Lye bubbled when it came into contact with blood; it was fun when the victim was made to watch.

"I see, just a fast and hard one in the closest closet, right?"

"We did make it to the maintenance room."

"Maybe a bit too hard? Gai mentioned it hurt."

"Did it?" Idika seemed honestly surprised. "He said he was ready."

Kakashi winced internally. Damn, of course Gai would say that, not knowing what the hell he was saying he was ready for.

"Anyway, most Jounin like it, you know...rough."

Idika was giving him a measuring glance that made Kakashi's fists itch, but he kept his poise and didn't let the slightest ripple cross his body, face or aura.

Idika was a young, superficial and self-centred idiot, like many a twenty-year-old single male, and he had all the survival instincts of a depressed lemming, but he also had a point; Jounin were not generally known for being patient, gentle lovers. It wasn't anything kinky; it was a matter of desensitisation. 'Slow and tender' was all well and good, but your typical Jounin was likely to fall asleep before it got good enough to keep him interested. Rough was not the same as painful, though. By the time they got to the higher ranks, most Shinobi had had enough pain to last them ten lifetimes. There were a few who were into the weirder games, but then it came down to a matter of trust. Hurt them when they weren't expecting it and you were breathing through a hole in your throat while they were apologizing for their reflexes.

But Gai wouldn't know that. Gai's knowledge of the entire spectrum of dos and don'ts was nonexistent. But being Gai, he'd probably not shown any doubt or hesitation, just plunged right in, thinking his self-confidence, considerable abilities and bravery would get him through anything, like they did in battle. The problem here had been one of misunderstanding, Kakashi concluded, feeling his anger dissipate; Idika hadn't realized Gai was a complete virgin, so-

"You won't be telling the others about this, right?" Idika asked, with a grimace of embarrassment. "The guys would never let me live it down."

Oh look, the anger's back. And it brought friends!

"No offence if he's a buddy of yours, of course," Idika added, not sounding either very sorry or very convinced of the possibility that someone as cool as Kakashi could be friends with Gai.

Kakashi didn't say anything. While Idika was chuckling about Gai and his poses and his clothes and his Youth speeches, Kakashi was deep in a sudden memory.

...Seventy-two hours of subjective hell at the hands of one Uchiha Itachi. Kisame lunging forward, that bloody great sword of his raised to skewer Kakashi who could barely move. Gai stepping between them and slamming shark-boy back thirty feet. Gai, reaching into the cold, dark water Kakashi was sinking in and dragging him out to the light...

"He was actually rather funny, though I don't think it was intentional," Idika was saying. "I've never been picked up quite that way before. I mean, he's blunt. Er, if you don't mind me asking, what's up with you two? You're always beating each other up."

"We're rivals," Kakashi heard himself say. He wondered if he'd ever seriously referred to Gai like that to anybody else.

"Oh yeah?" Idika gave him that slow, interested gaze again. "Rivals, huh? Well, this is one area I bet he won't rival with you. Is that what you wanted to know? What it was like? It was okay, sort of, but nothing fantastic. He's stiff and clumsy for a Jounin; at one point he nearly backhanded me and broke a shelf in the room we were in. Mind you, we might have gotten our wires crossed...he said it hurt? I didn't mean that. Maybe I better apologize...but I don't want him getting ideas about, you know, me hanging around."

"Oh, I don't think that's something you need to worry about," Kakashi purred. "You sleep with a lot of Jounin?"

"Well, not a lot, no," Idika murmured, stepping right into Kakashi's strike range and leaning against the bookshelf's side. "But a few. They never had any complaints till now."

"Ever do Anko?" Kakashi asked lazily, uncrossing his arms and toying with the reinforcements on the back of one glove.

"Er, no. She's...something special, I heard. Is that true?" There was even more respect for Kakashi in Idika's eyes as he leaned forward breathlessly.

Kakashi didn't correct the misunderstanding; he just smiled and drawled: "Oh, she's definitely special. And she's a buddy of mine. She taught me a few...fun things..."

Idika's interest was acute now as his eyes drifted down Kakashi's body. Anko had something of a reputation for creativity.

"She learned a lot from her dear old mentor," Kakashi continued pleasantly, his fingers blurring through the seals. "Here, this is a little something she showed me once. Ol' Orochimaru never coined a name for this Genjutsu, but Anko calls it 'Fried Brains for Breakfast'. Have a slice."

Only a tiny touch, really. If you killed guys for being young, insensitive, stupid brutes, then humanity would be wiped out in short order.

"Right." Kakashi crouched down and pulled the fallen Idika up by the hair. "Let's get this straight. When you can walk again, you'll go tell the guys and everyone you know - even your mom - that you had a really good time with a respected, powerful Jounin the other day. No details; you're not the kind to kiss and tell. You'll just tell them it was great. But make sure they know to watch their step; because anybody who messes with Maito Gai is messing with me. I'm a busy guy; I don't want to go around hurting people more than I have to. Enjoy the next five minutes of my jutsu; that's the best part. Then it goes downhill."

Kakashi left Idika puking on the floor and headed home to fix this. Somehow.

Or he could just ignore it.

Gai was tough. Really tough. People didn't always realize it. He'd been through the school of hard knocks same as them all. He'd buried family, friends and pupils. He'd fought until he collapsed, then he got up and fought some more. Idiots like Idika latched on to the fact that he was a bit weird. Well, so were all the best Jounin. In Gai's case, the weirdness was an integral part of his character, but it was also a coping mechanism of sorts. It was the same for Kakashi. The Icha Icha Paradise, the laid-back attitude and the strange sense of humour were indeed all parts of Kakashi's personality. But they also reminded him who he was; routines he could rely on like guardrails. They put up a buffer between him and the soulless monster he could easily become if he let himself slip.

Besides, nice guys are always prevailed upon for favours, but nobody expects much from a sarcastic pervert who's always late.

So yeah, Gai was tough. He'd get over all this pretty quickly, once he realized he hadn't lost any of Kakashi's respect. Of course, confused over the whole deal and with no pleasant memories of it, it was likely that Gai would never have sex again, but sex was a messy, fleeting business that was highly overrated, and that was the sad truth of the matter.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh shit, Kakashi thought, I can't believe I'm contemplating having sex with Gai.

His brain felt like it was trying to squirm out of his cranium and escape through his ears to run away from that idea.

I couldn't possibly. I mean, this is Gai. I'd have to get naked. With Gai. I'd have to-

At least he's already seen me without my mask.

That small thought popped into his mind from some dark, dusty corner of his skull. It brought with it a faint wash of bile and nausea.

-Kakashi felt something more than ribs and a lung being punctured by his kunai- No. He didn't want to remember that. It was too nice a day to remember that shit; it was sunny, peaceful, he hadn't actually killed anybody in ages- It had been just one more great episode of his blood-soaked life, he didn't particularly want to remember any of them if he could. That's what he had his books for. But even as his fingers fished around in his satchel, the memory was rising like smoke in his mind.

Kakashi felt something more than ribs and a lung being punctured by his kunai. Through the slash in the man's body armour, a flash of white; a scroll. A hiss-

The Mist Shinobi folded over Kakashi's kunai; blood spattered. The man was already dead. And he was going to take Kakashi with him.

Poison trap!

Kakashi threw himself backwards as the invisible cloud poured from the scroll wrapped around the dead man's chest, following the first gush of blood.

He could faster than most. He managed to get upwind of the danger zone with only minimal contact with the poison. It wasn't his day to die.

But it sure felt like it.

The exposed skin was burning. His eyes- the right one felt like it had been bathed in acid. The Sharingan had simply gone blind and numb; sensory overload. He ripped off his mask, and realized that that didn't help him breathe- breathe! His mouth and throat had swollen shut, blisters erupting on his lips and tongue-

People around him. Kakashi barely kept enough presence of mind as he choked and burned and asphyxiated, to recognize Leaf Shinobi and not kill them on instinct.

Two Genin and a very young Chuunin, part of the cleanup team; the kind of kids the Mist assassin had been aiming at in the first place as he circled the battle behind the main forces. The young ninja were dithering at a safe distance from Kakashi, their hands waving helplessly as he writhed on the ground. They were only a couple years younger than he was, but at sixteen, Kakashi was a Jounin and part-time Anbu, and he had survived one war already, whereas this would be their first battlefield. And possibly their first dead superior officer soon.

"S-sir?!" The Chuunin tried to approach but backed away hastily from the armed man as Kakashi convulsed.

"Get some water!" another gasped.

Idiot, that won't help. Kakashi's fingers felt like boneless flesh as he fumbled at his pack. His ears were ringing so badly, he only heard the tail end of the next suggestion.

"-tracheotomy?" a kunoichi asked in a white voice.

Great. I've survived an assassin rigged with a Mist poison suicide scroll, to die at the hand of a bunch of panicking numbskulls. He couldn't feel his limbs anymore, and he couldn't see to direct his fingers to his medical pack, and he couldn't speak and he couldn't breathe!

Something hit him hard, scything his numb legs out from under him and laying him flat on the ground. Before he could react, the top of his vest was ripped open and he was hit in the chest with something sharp.

Either that's a kunai and I'm dead, or that's the adrenaline and anti-toxin injector, Kakashi thought dazedly; he was fading fast.

A few seconds passed, thunderous aching heartbeats.

Suddenly air ripped into his lungs like a blade. He choked and tried to force in more.

He pawed at the muddy ground, struggled to rise- an arm gripped him around the waist and hauled him forward, and he threw up. A finger force his painful, blistered lips open and roughly cleared the gunk from his swollen mouth before he accidentally inhaled it.

Gai, thank god...Kakashi recognized the man's chakra signature. And, since the big black spots in front of his stinging right eye had started to clear, he also recognized the unmistakable orange legwarmers, now rather dirty.

"Kakashi." Gai's voice was firm. "Was that the last one?"

"Last one in my sector," Kakashi said, and completely failed to make a sound. Gai must have read his lips though, because he nodded.

"Hold up, there's poison," Gai snapped over his shoulder at the Chuunin who'd tried to get around him to help Kakashi; the kid was holding his own medical pack and waving it around, a bit behind on events. Gai sighed shortly under his breath, then, as if regretting having been so unusually harsh, he cheerfully exclaimed: "You are too young to die, in the springtime of youth, in the full flex of life!"

Kakashi doubled over and vomited again. It was mostly due to the poison.

"I'll take him. This area should be safe now." Gai manoeuvred him up and hauled Kakashi's arm over his shoulder. "Guard that body over there, but don't get any nearer to it, and make sure to stay upwind at all times. Wait until the Anbu show up to deal with that one. But I put you in charge of this battlefield; I trust you to not let any other young person stumble into this trap!"

Kakashi distantly noted that Gai had kept his body between Kakashi's unmasked face and the gawking teens since he'd arrived.

"Don't you want help carrying him?" It was Miss We-Should-Do-A-Tracheotomy who asked that hesitantly.

She got a brilliant encouraging pose for her suggestion. "No, he'll be walking in a minute. We're fine. Do you job, young kunoichi! Our fighting forces rely on you!"

Kakashi was not 'walking in a minute', but he preferred to be moving swiftly with Gai's support rather than being stretchered by a couple of greenhorns who would probably drop him. They made the five minute trip to the field hospital in watchful silence; Gai had one of Kakashi's arms slung over his shoulder and was holding him by the waist, his fingers on Kakashi's weapons just in case they were jumped. When the camouflaged medi-nin tent was visible through the trees, Gai stopped.

"Can you get there on your own?"

"Yes," Kakashi croaked.

"Good, I need to do another pass. The Anbu obviously missed a few. I'll spread the word about the suicide scrolls."

Gai propped him up against a tree with little ceremony, and then tweaked Kakashi's mask up over his face as if it was the most natural thing to do. He turned, took two steps away, then gave a thumbs-up and one of his brilliant sparkly smiles over his shoulder. "Get well! I count on challenging you as soon as you are recovered!"

"Sure. Go," Kakashi whispered hoarsely, making a 'shoo' gesture. Gai had already disappeared before he'd finished it. Kakashi turned and made his way to the field hospital on his own two feet, mask and headband firmly in place, covering the sweat, pallor and traces of the attack.

He'd never thanked Gai. It had never occurred to him to do so. He'd saved Gai's fancy skin a number of times and Gai had never thanked him either. Thanks implied gratitude for something that was given. Gai and Kakashi saved each other because that was what they did; like breathing.

Talk about breathing...a noise prickled Kakashi's alarms, bringing him suddenly back to the present.

He'd been heading home as well as tripping down memory lane, and now that he was within sight of the gate, he could hear a distant grunt of effort. Like a man fighting, Kakashi thought, still half in his memories of a past battle. His hand strayed to his kunai holder. The grunt was followed by another grunt, and another...it was starting to sound familiar, when you knew Gai.

Kakashi vaulted over the high wall; he hadn't bothered with the gate in ages, it probably didn't even open any more. Gai was in the centre of the small courtyard doing one-armed press-ups; he was wearing his backpack and by the looks of it, he'd added a couple of the decorative stones from the garden to the load.

Kakashi wandered over to him.

"What is it now?" he asked.

Gai glanced up questioningly without losing his rhythm.

"What stupid bet with yourself did you lose this time?" Kakashi elaborated, hands in his pockets, looking down at his friend.

"Just- five -practicing - four -"

"How many more you got to do?"

"Two hundred thirty one...-thirty....-twenty nine-...eight-"

"Okay, I'll be sitting over here." Kakashi knew better than to try and interrupt. It might be 'just practice' to pass the time while waiting, but he was pretty sure Gai had tagged on some kind of insane condition to this exercise, and Kakashi had plans for Gai this afternoon that didn't involve Gai running hundreds of laps around Konoha.

That was when he realized he was going to do it. It was one of those bloody Conclusions again, the kind that resisted attempts to dissect them. So Kakashi didn't try.

It was a nice day, early summer. He sat down on the porch and watched Gai go at it for a few minutes, then his gaze wandered around the yard.

The small crab-apple tree in the corner was still stubbornly refusing to die. Kakashi didn't take any care of it, and it was a miserable old thing, older than the Hatake ancestral digs themselves. Kakashi had moved back here a year ago, when he'd been briefly put in charge of Sasuke's parole. His previous one-room apartment had been too small for Kakashi, Sasuke and the latter's guilt and gloom. Then somebody in Tsunade's office decided they didn't want any of Kakashi rubbing off on the last Uchiha heir if they could possibly help it. Both Kakashi and Sasuke had been insanely relieved. Kakashi was thinking of moving back out, finding a small apartment again, but he never really had the time to look for one...

Gai's controlled, regular breathing whispered around the corners of the severely empty yard.

Another memory shivered behind Kakashi's eyes like the afternoon sunlight off the branches of that bloody crab-apple tree...

...Two more men down. Kakashi breathed easily, pooling his reserves. He didn't know how many more Sound- and Sand-nin were around. He wasn't worried about the Hokage, he wasn't worried about Team 7 and Pakkun, he wasn't worried about his own life, and he was certainly not worried about Gai who would fight at his back until they wore him down, and that would take those pitiful Sound bastards at least a day or two.

Kakashi only worried about one thing; doing his job.

Stab, rip, jerk the blade away, kick, dodge, fall back.

Their battle rhythms were so attuned that he and Gai both leapt into the middle of the stadium's seats at the same time, ending up back to back as neatly as if the move had been planned ahead and rehearsed a couple of times. Kakashi could feel the heat radiating from Gai's face as the latter glanced over his shoulder; that and the deepened, regular breathing were the only signs of exertion from Gai.

"Twenty six," Gai said.

"You're still leading by one."

Kakashi's hand flashed out, the kunai flying- "Scratch that. Even score."

"I think they're regrouping. I can't see Asuma- shall we go help Genma and Kurenai?"

"No." Kakashi's Sharingan was whirling, watching the pattern of a gathering attack. "Stand your ground. They're coming at us again."

"Then it is time for me to finally win this competition, my rival. If I lose, I will perform a thousand high-jumps before the day is out!" Gai exclaimed, his presence as solid as a wall at Kakashi's back.

Yeah, you could always rely on Gai.

Kakashi passed a hand through his hair, as if the tug of his hand could drag him back to the present.

Gai was always there. In Kakashi's life, most of what he'd considered his had been ripped away, sometimes before he'd even gotten around to appreciating it. But Gai never changed. And if he never changed, then he would never go away or die in some gruesome manner...

Deep inside, Kakashi was starting to wonder if that hadn't been the reason he'd shied away so violently from the whole sex-with-Gai thing in the first place. Because now that he was actually considering it, the sex part itself didn't bother him that much. But he didn't want to change things between them. He didn't want anything to change that brave, posing, loud, reliable Gai he knew so well. That would represent a permanent break in the routine. Kakashi liked routine; it meant he and those he cared about would live to see another day, instead of dying unexpectedly.

...Now that he'd calmed down a bit, he realized he might have been just a teensy bit harsh on Idika. Not that much, mind you. But it was very unlike Kakashi to lose his detachment like that.

In fact, offhand, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been that angry with someone. And over something so small, so trivial; even a better-informed Gai wouldn't have done more than lecture the bastard.

...Looked like the routine was already broken. Things had already changed.

"Done!"

Kakashi blinked and looked up at the Mighty Green Beast of Konoha standing before him, slightly flushed and beaming. Whatever the mental turmoil, violent physical exercise always made Gai feel better.

"Right..."

Something rather odd happened. Kakashi hesitated.

He was pretty sure his demeanour didn't betray it - sitting on the porch, chin on fist, eye hooded and lazy. But inside, doubts were trickling through his conviction like cold water down his spine.

How the hell do I broach the subject? Never had any problems picking people up before, but this is Gai...talk about a special case.

What if he says no?

What if he says yes and I don't do a good job and turn him off even more?

What if he freaks out on me and stops coming over every so often to challenge me to those stupid matches?

I'd actually miss those...

Gai was waiting patiently. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck.

...If I don't do this, he might get inquisitive again and we'll have another Idika.

Yeah, I'll be buried in a hill of fire ants before I let that happen.

"So, Gai, you still curious about sex?"

Gai blinked and proceeded to look extremely suspicious. "Why?"

Kakashi got up off the porch and brushed himself off, before heading to the front door. "Come on inside and I'll show you how it's done."

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