The Slightly Ecchi Adventures of Rock Lee
Prologue
Solderini
Her hair was the color of the flower
for which she was named... her vigor and spirit unmatched in any other... her
hands were... well, they were rough from her long days as a proud ninja of the
Leaf, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Never in all his seventeen years of
life had he been so happy. Six months had passed since they'd started dating,
and each day was like a dream that got better and better. Oh, how he'd waited
for this moment, the moment when she'd take his hand in hers and say, "Lee, are
you paying attention to me?"
"What?" Lee blinked, prodded out of his own
thoughts by the slight irritation in Sakura's tone.
"I said, 'Lee, are
you paying attention to me?'" Sakura repeated. Lee's eyes widened. How could he
have let himself fall into his own fantasies of Sakura when she was right here
beside him? When she was gently clasping his hand in her own as they walked
through the park? When her eyebrow was lifted just so, giving her face the look
it got right before she got mad and yelled...
Oh no.
He smiled
nervously. "Ah, Sakura-san, I'm sorry--I was just thinking about you, and, ah--I
guess I lost track of reality." He hung his head in shame.
Sakura looked
at him incredulously for a moment, then burst into laughter. Lee blinked. She...
wasn't angry?
"Lee," she giggled, her voice like an angel's, "you're a
really weird guy, you know that?" She tugged at his hand. "Let's go, I have some
things to tell you. And pay attention this time!"
"Yes, Sakura-san," Lee
said, trailing behind her like a puppy on a leash. They made their way to a park
bench, where they sat down, hands entwined. Lee stole a quick peck on the cheek,
which turned into more when Sakura caught his lips with her own and pressed them
together firmly. Lee came out of the kiss dazed and flushed.
Without a
doubt, he was the luckiest man in the world.
"OK, Lee," Sakura said,
"what I was asking you while you were off in your own little world was: do you
have any missions scheduled for the weekend?"
Lee thought for a moment.
"No, not that I know of. Why do you ask?"
"Well, because my parents are
going on a business trip over the weekend."
Lee frowned. "You mean you're
not going with them?" At Sakura's nod, he raised his fist into the air.
"Unforgivable: they've abandoned you! If it were me, I wouldn't leave without
you!"
"Thank you, Lee," Sakura said, blushing slightly. "But, you know, I
have my own obligations here. I don't mind staying home for the entire weekend.
Alone." As she said the last word, she leaned against him and looked him in the
eye. Lee cocked his head to the side.
After a minute or two of staring,
Sakura sighed. "Lee," she asked, "do you know what I'm saying?"
He
thought some more. "Sakura-san," he said, "are you... afraid?" Sakura blinked.
"Do you want me to come over this weekend and protect you?" He leapt to his
feet, grinning. "Don't worry, Sakura-san! With the Beautiful Green Beast of
Konoha by your side, you'll have nothing to fear!"
Sakura grabbed him by
the wrist and pulled him back onto the bench. Then she kissed him to shut him
up. "No, Lee," she said, laughing. "What I'm asking is..." She blushed and
looked away.
"Sakura-san?"
"What I'm asking is..."
Lee
touched her cheek gently. "Whatever it is, Sakura-san, tell me. I won't laugh at
you."
"I know Lee," Sakura said, nuzzling into his hand. "What I'm asking
is... doyouwannacomeovertomorrownightsowecanhavesex?"
Lee blinked.
"Uh..."
Sakura took a deep breath. "What I meant was, I want to have sex
with you, and I was wondering if you'd like to, tomorrow night."
Lee's
mouth fell open. He looked away from Sakura, out into the park. The tree his
eyes fell on seemed to burst into bloom, a thousand multicolored blossoms
swirling in a whirlwind that was nowhere near as wondrous as the thing Sakura
had just proposed.
"...Lee?"
He cupped her face in his hands and
kissed her deeply. When they parted, Sakura smiled. "Can I take that as a yes?"
she asked.
"Definitely," Lee answered.
They gazed at each other
for a moment more, then kissed again. "I guess we should get going," Sakura said
as they parted. "It's getting late."
Lee nodded. "We'll need all our
strength for tomorrow."
Sakura blushed, and how Lee loved that blush! It
made her look so delicate, like a flower, yet under that beauty he knew there
was a soul of steel. "I wouldn't put it that way, Lee," she said. "But I do have
a mission tomorrow morning." She stood, and Lee stood with her. "I'll see you
tomorrow night, OK?"
"Should I walk you home?" he asked.
"No," she
answered. "Your house's right near here. I won't have you walking all the way
across the village. I can take care of myself."
"Well, then, you have to
let me take you out to dinner tomorrow," Lee insisted. Sakura kissed him by way
of agreement, then leapt into the trees and disappeared. Lee watched her go,
then skipped merrily to his house, whistling happily. He let himself in, shouted
a greeting to his parents and waltzed up the stairs, barely able to contain his
happiness. Seventeen and in love! What better way was there to be?
He
flopped down on his bed and smiled at nothing in particular. That smiled slowly
changed into a frown, though, as he realized an important fact: he had no idea
how to make love to a woman!
Oh, he knew the basics, of course, tab A
into slot B, etcetera, but how did one go about it... properly? How could he
make it as wonderful an experience for Sakura as he was sure she would make it
for him? What if he screwed up, or forgot something important?
He fumbled
in his pocket for a coin. As his hand closed around it, he closed his eyes and
mumbled, "If this coin toss comes out the way I call it, everything will go
perfectly tomorrow. But," he drew the coin out of his pocket and fondled it
nervously, "if I call it wrong, Sakura-san won't like me any more." He gulped.
"Well, here it goes."
He flipped the coin into the air and watched it
fall, trying to predict the outcome. As it reached the height of his arc, he had
it.
"Heads!"
It was tails.
Lee glared at it for a moment,
then launched himself off his bed and pointed at it. "Ha!" he cried, "I fooled
you! I knew it was going to be tails! But I also knew the coin never falls the
way I call it, so I said the opposite! Everything will be perfect!"
The
coin didn't seem very impressed. Lee laughed at it for a moment more, then at
fate which had tried once again to screw him over. Then he calmed down and got
ready for bed. He wouldn't worry anymore, not tonight. Hard work and good tips
made anything possible, and he knew just the person to go to tomorrow
morning.
**********************
To Be Continued
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