Written for Christmas, for Keepthefaith.

Domesticity is killing Naruto. There's something about picking up his underwear, and hanging up towels, that just makes him want to go bat-shit crazy and stab something with a kunai. Or two. Or maybe a couple hundred.

Vacuums, Naruto has decided, will do that to a man. But more than that, it's Gaara.

Naruto loves Gaara, don't get him wrong. Gaara is the perfect amount of moping and angsting to compliment Naruto just so, and Naruto really couldn't find a better person for him. Not to mention the sparring is great, and the sex is even better.

But see, there's a problem. Gaara has sand. Lots of sand. Sand that goes everywhere. And Naruto, bless his soul, wants to kill Gaara sometimes. He wants to take that gourd and shove it up Gaara's skinny white ass.

Kazekage his ass.

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