I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?

And then he was mumbling the words again. Genma's mouth fell open and his needle fell, unheeded to the floor. Iruka glanced up from his little drunken stupor and even Kakashi stopped groping Iruka to look up at the stage.

"Who you think he's talking about?" Hayate asked conversationally as Kurenai tried to save a choking Asuma.

"My money's on Naruto," Neji stated quietly. The teachers blinked at him before Asuma, wheezing, shook his head.

"Nah, I say Orochimaru."

"What about Itachi?"

"Ah," Kurenai and Gai said together, nodding sagely at Hayate's comment.

I hate you hate
I hate you love me
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?

And then Sasuke was wandering away from the stage, hands shoved in his pockets, muttering something about "damn dobes," "fucking freaks," and "bastard brothers."

"Brilliant, Hayate," Gai praised as a student bounded up to the machine. Wait, no, that was no student. A drunk Iruka was swaying as he peered blearily out at the audience.

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