Hatake Kakashi and Inuzuka Rin had not worked with each other for over three years, and yet they seemed to fall into a familiar rhythm within minutes of confronting their enemy. Bodies moving naturally, automatically, through strategies unused since their childhood, the late Yondaime's students still couldn't seem to gain the advantage on their too-skilled opponent.

Kakashi spat out the metallic taste of blood and straightened, moving to pull the mask back over his lower face. The arm of his team-mate stopped him.

"What?" His whisper was urgent as he tensed, crouching slightly. Eyes darted to try and pick up whatever had made Rin still. "What is it?"

"I don't know if this is a fight we can both escape from." Her voice was mournful, pained, her arm still grasping his. When had her grip become so certain? When had she become so strong? "You said you recognised the jutsu?"

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed as he nodded, "It was an activating jutsu - whatever he was holding was based on living tissue, he needed to use a certain type of chakra - green, I think - to make it...pulse. I can't be sure, but that's what it looked like."

"I recognised the tissue." Her grip tightened, trimmed nails beginning to cut into his arm. Not for the first time, he hoped that their enemy could not track blood. "It's a terrible poison that takes five hours to kill a person. It has no antidote - the Suna developed it during the War, 'Kashi-kun, I've seen its effects..."

He allowed the irritating pet-name - Obito's irritating pet name - as he watched her eyes fight back tears. They had barely spoken in the years since their sensei's death, and yet Rin was still the closest thing to family that Kakashi had.

"Rin..." He really didn't want to hear her words; He didn't want to see her shuddering face. Unlike the already famous Copy Nin, Rin had never wanted to be a shinobi, never wanted to kill people or watch them die, but Kakashi knew she had done too much of both. She had wanted to help people...

They had grieved together sporadically over the years, sparred angrily through refreshing games of My-Life-Sucks-Hardest. After her parents had died last year, Kakashi had tried to allow the young kunoichi's touch. On the loneliest nights she would come to him, to his bare apartment in the middle of the night, riding them both to completion. She had only tried to kiss him once, and he had pulled away desperately - as if that small intimacy was any more inside of him than the months of dark rooms and almost violent caresses.

"You can't let him touch you, Kakashi. If the poison touches you, you will not survive. I can't -" She sucked in a hard breath and Kakashi struggled to remain impassive. "- You know too many jutsus, you have Obito's eye. If you die I'll be the one who has to destroy your body. I can't destroy you both. Do you understand at all?"

"I won't let the bastard touch us." Kakashi tapped his hitae-ate, praying she didn't see his hands shake at the mention of their dead comrade's name. "That cry-baby's got our back, you see?"

She smiled carefully, pushing up the hitae-ate as he tried not to flinch, running her fingers down the scar she found there.

"You should've taken better care. It shouldn't have scarred so much." Her words were familiar, and as usual he said nothing about how much he'd wanted the scar. He'd wanted to forever be reminded of all he had come so close to losing. Of all he had lost. Of how he had almost redeemed himself at the end.

Her fingers traced his cheek bone to his ear and her soft palm cupped his cheek. Kakashi refused to tremble, wanting to believe that a seventeen year old shinobi had greater things to fear than a woman's gentle touch. Rin looked nervous, possessed. As if the thing she was about to set in motion could never be undone. Kakashi had not been the only one to learn about lost chances, she had been on their team also. Rin had learned far more quickly than the stubborn, beautiful boy before her.

"If that poison touches me, I want you to kill me as soon as is possible without risking your life. I won't die like that." The eyes of her two best friends stared out from Kakashi's face. "Tell me you understand, Kakashi?"

For the third time in the ten years she had known Kakashi, the boy actually looked his age. Eyes wide and pleading, his entire demeanour showing his grief at her words. It wasn't what she had said, Rin knew, but that he could no more deny her than deny himself. Rin knew that also. Her eyes betrayed her, filling with tears once more.

"Don't - Please don't pull away..." Her thumb grazed his dry bottom lip as she leant in, shutting her eyes against his discomfort, needing this. Her left hand went up to grasp at the short hairs low on his neck. Numbly, Kakashi let Rin touch her lips to his, tentatively mouthing nonsense words into his lower lip. She thought she felt Kakashi smile slightly, and he finally responded, angling his head to nuzzle slightly at her cheek as he nipped at her thin top lip.

"I don't love you, Kakashi." The words were mumbled against his chin. Her breath was uncomfortably warm. "I promise I don't."

That was as close as they ever got.

Seconds later, the fierce killing intent of their opponent's chakra had burst into their sensory perception, and he spotted them - hurling weapons, insults and jutsus almost as fast as Kakashi could follow them. The renewed battle was furious; too fast, too close. As hard as he tried to keep one eye trained on his team-mate, Kakashi was simply no match for the adult shinobi while so distracted.

The enemy hit Kakashi head on with a monumental escape by earth technique - sending projectile balls of rock into the young nin, sending him flying. The next thing Kakashi remembered was hearing Rin's appalled scream - and he struggled desperately to right himself - hacking up yet more blood, directly into his mask this time - somehow finding the stamina to half-run-half-stumble over to his fallen team-mate's side.

Her bright, streaming eyes were fixed upon her chest, where several large needles littered her breast. Pulling them out quickly, Sharingan eye daring his opponent to make a move, Kakashi soothed her as best he could in his injured state, vaguely wondering why Rin - who had received far greater injuries than this - was not in the process of healing herself. She had not fought so readily as Kakashi, and so should have had far more chakra to spare on her own body. Unless...

"If you wish, Copy Nin, I will wait the necessary time. And in those hours you can watch your girlfriend die."

Kakashi couldn't stop the snarl that escaped him as he turned to charge the man - all logic forgotten in the wave of fearful anger that gripped him. Even in death, Rin's calm was endless, and, mouth still slack in a gaping expression of fear, she gripped her team-mate's arm. Those trimmed nails digging into his pale flesh made Kakashi crumple. He ran his hands over her hair, her face, her neck, cupping her chin, Obito's eye forcing him to see the toxin's traces taint her veins...

"What do I do?" his breathless whisper cut at her. "What do you want me to do?"

"Don't let me die this way!" She leant into his touch, begging. "Please, please...not this way, not like this...Kakashi..."

x

Kakashi snapped her neck.

x

Her stunned eyes mirrored the shaken expression on Kakashi's own face, on the face of the enemy shinobi behind him. Turning slowly, he felt Rin's death run through him, felt a third wheel beginning its deadly spin in his bright red eye.

Kakashi fought the man silently, wearing him down, taking his life blow by blow. Nothing the man could say could deflect the grieving shinobi's attacks; nothing could distract the boy from his purpose.

Before Kakashi finally took his enemy's life, he held up the kinjutsu scrolls he had snatched from his opponent's vest.

"This is all I came for." Kakashi said calmly as he pocketed the flimsy rolls of paper. "But I could never let you live after that."

The chirping of a thousand birds filled the clearing, and Kakashi very calmly ripped his enemy's heart out. As the Copy Nin disposed of the two bodies, he couldn't help but laugh a little at the irony.

Kakashi wondered if, had it been mere grief latching him to his past, it would really hurt so completely. Pain, however earth shattering, had a habit of becoming habit; becoming bearable and washed out, like paint - especially in a ninja's world of blood and battle.

Regret was a far more potent hurt, a more dedicated companion.

If Kakashi had just told Rin, just once, that he had loved her, the lie would have soothed some empty pain she'd felt in that last year. If he'd have just stayed in her presence, talked to her, trained with her, been there for her... Perhaps the end would've been the same, but there may have been some peace in those fearful eyes, before their light went out completely.

If Kakashi had just saved Obito, then Rin would have eventually shifted her focus onto him. If he'd have just listened when the boy ranted about companionship, and compassion, and instinct... If he'd have let the other boy known that he was there for him, rather than defending him only when he wasn't around to hear it, rather than teasing and goading the black haired boy - but that had been Kakashi's right, after all. Obito was his team-mate. His friend. His rival. Kakashi, despite their many intense disagreements, had protected Obito from countless dangers, attackers, and bullies; taught the other boy moves, jutsus, tricks, hints, skills...

It hadn't been enough, somehow.

Maybe if Kakashi had just trusted his sensei when he'd had the chance. Maybe if he'd responded when the older man offered comfort, care, games, rest. Maybe, if he'd found a way to swallow his scared pride he could've been the child that the Yellow Flash had so often tried to cajole out of the cold little shinobi that he'd really been. And then he might've understood Obito's games. Might've been able to prevent their team's horrific disbanding.

Kakashi had a lot of regrets, and wasn't really sure what to do with them.

Hiding in a tree, watching Naruto stomp around cursing his ero-sennin's name, parentage and hair-do, Jiraiya tried to hold back the bubbling giggle at the sight. It was hard for Jiraiya to believe that someone who had been so exposed to both himself and his student's protégé could seriously compare their tardy or perverted habits.

True enough, Jiraiya had personally introduced Kakashi to the first of his best-selling Icha Icha series, but the silver-haired kid wasn't genuinely all that perverted. He loved his porn for the plot for anyone's sake, and the Toad Hermit had almost been shocked at the Copy Nin's habit of carrying it around with him - until, that is, he noticed the commotion everyone around Kakashi was making. Then of course, it all made perfect sense.

But Naruto's two instructors were tardy for entirely different reasons. Kakashi marched to his own beat, these days and very often simply didn't realise he'd lost track of time. If late on a mission, however, you knew it would be for a better reason than his supposed road on the path of life! Jiraiya was (almost) never late, but if he had learned anything from the Hatake brat it was that being underestimated was not such a bad thing.

Not to mention the chance to perfect his voyeuristic prowess by analysing his targets before showing himself. A good pervert, Jiraiya felt, was one who could successfully balance all responsibilities. A good ninja needed that skill too, of course.

Another life lesson Jiraiya adhered to almost devoutly, was that one could not be awesome all the time, and as Naruto got to a particularly creative rant - amusing Jiraiya into falling from his concealed perch - Jiraiya's expectation for the rest of the day improved dramatically.

Eventually, after checking every other place in the village, Gai tried the monument, shocked to see Kakashi kneeling before the regal black stone, his hands lying limply in his lap.

Gai returned ten minutes later, two foam cups of hot tea in his hands and a bunch of flowers under an arm, and sat down cross legged beside his friend.

"Ah! Kakashi, my rival! I didn't expect to see you here!" Gai's cheerful greeting didn't evoke any kind of response, and Gai's brow wrinkled anxiously. "I brought some tea, here!"

Kakashi didn't respond again, and Gai picked up his rival's hand, holding it gently against the warm cup. After a few seconds the Copy Nin looked down, hand closing around the stiff foam.

"Thanks."

Gai hadn't expected the whispered response, hadn't expected Kakashi's hands to shake so violently as he raised the cup to his masked lips, tugging the cloth down by instinct at the last second. Gai steadied that trembling hand with his own, for a rare moment allowing the silence to go unchecked.

Some tension seemed to leave Kakashi's exposed eye at the sudden heat of the liquid, and Gai moved himself closer to his comrade, taking the opportunity to lay a flamboyant bouquet beneath a familiar etching.

"Oh - I forgot..." Kakashi's tender words shook Gai, would have moved him to tears had he thought Kakashi could stand the affection.

"You always do, I bought extra this year!" Gai's overly casual words didn't camouflage his unease, but Kakashi seemed to accept them, even thanked him for the thought.

Maito Gai did not like complex emotions; he didn't like having to pry the layers from Sharingan Kakashi merely to glimpse the tip of an iceberg that was pretending to be a river. The utter naivety of those shinobi who thought a strong drink would erase the Copy Nin's guilt; or a hug would mend his broken heart; those shinobi made him laugh.

"Did something come up?" Gai boldly attempted to start a conversation, drive away the awkward chill. "Aren't you usually here in the mornings?"

"Hmm?" Kakashi's bemused eye was horribly devoid of feeling. "What time is it?"

"Noon." Gai's single word echoed around them in its nervous bravado. It had been ten years since Rin's death, and he'd known Kakashi would be upset - but Konoha's Green Beast had optimistically assumed that his rival's wounds would have healed with time.

Rin had been beautiful in Gai's jealous eyes. Young and gentle and calm, though when moved to anger, her eyes would flash strikingly against her tanned complexion, and her furious grace would proclaim her excellence as a Kunoichi. The only time Gai had seen Rin truly deadly was when she was protecting Kakashi; the only time he had seen her truly content was when Kakashi had needed her.

Gai made no secret of how he saw himself in Rock Lee. It was in the way the boy tried so hard to overcome his personal demons, in the way he ignored the demons of his genius rivals to maintain his own goal. But Gai could also see himself in the way his student chased unceasingly after Haruno Sakura, the way he deflated when she would ignore him in favour of a mere glance from the stoic Uchiha heir. Gai hoped that Naruto never died, that Sakura never died, that his students could live the lives his generation had started to, before everything had gone to shit.

Kakashi had earned Gai's respect in a way that few other people could. He styled himself on the strength of the other shinobi, appreciated the wit and strange humour that the other man possessed. Though Gai called their 'rivalry' the deciding factor between the skills genius and hard work, Gai was not fool enough to really believe that Kakashi was purely genius, but he was beginning to suspect Kakashi needed the constant impetus as much as Gai himself did.

Maito Gai was loyal to a fault, and while he may not have been subtle or stealthy or terribly understanding, he liked to think he knew his rival, like he knew himself. Kakashi was a simple being to understand, when you had been as consistent to each other's lives as they had. He would be loyally and generously yours for as long as you refused to acknowledge that fact. He would guard your back and walk at your side, as long as you let him alone when he wanted seclusion. He would not injure you, or pry into you, so long as, in return, you didn't dig to deep.

So when Kakashi's demons began to overwhelm him, and he lost track of the time and the date and himself and the world, Gai knew that Kakashi wasn't looking for sympathy, he was looking for an anchor.

"It is my turn to choose, Kakashi!" Gai stated boldly, "And I Challenge you to a Taijutsu Fight!"

Gai supposed that he had loved Rin, in a way - and he supposed that if that made sense, then he must love Kakashi also. He knew that he needed his fellow shinobi, that the man was one of the few anchors Gai had left in an intimidating world that he often barely understood.

Kakashi gave a small huff of laughter and - despite its bitter cadence - for Gai, it was enough.

x

CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS ENCLOSED

From: ANBU - Stg Ops. (T&I) - Un2
Auth. Code: 0X076598REC.

TO: Nara Shikamaru, Chuunin.
Reg: #012611
C/O: Saratobi Asuma.

Chuunin,

Following your highly successful training practical in our compound - namely, your recent achievements into leading a Blind Operative effectively through a low level A-class scenario - on behalf of the ANBU Strategic Operations Department, I would like to invite you to an informal reception, to be held this coming Thursday 16th May, to discuss any future benefits that may be mutually gained through the further development of the skills you displayed on your recent course.

We have taken the liberty of sending a letter to your sensei, Elite Jounin Saratobi Asuma, informing him of the ANBU's offer and inviting him to the reception also. Please inform us should this be inconvenient, and we will make amendments to suit your needs.

Please confirm your attendance by filling in the adjoined form and returning it to the Mission Desk in the envelope provided.

We hope to be hearing from you shortly.

Sincerely,

ANBU Locust,
Head of Interrogation Unit 2.

x

Shikaku, reading over his son's shoulder, grasped his arm tightly.

"Well. You've certainly impressed them." Shikamaru knew his father well enough to know that he wasn't entirely pleased with the idea - the ANBU were a force many nin held reservations against - but the old man was also immensely proud of his son, that much was obvious from the shine in his eyes.

"They just want to meet with me," Shikamaru wasn't entirely sure why his stomach was filled suddenly with butterflies. "Nothing will come of it..."

"Don't you be so sure!" Shikaku's voice held a note of certainty that was usually only present when speaking of women. "The ANBU don't ask people to come visit them in a reception for nothing! They don't butter up people who they don't keep, Shikamaru, use your head!"

Shikamaru smiled slightly at the familiar rebuttal, before staring contemplatively down at his letter once more.

Many of the younger ones, the fresh ones, eager to show off their skill and prowess, were crouched, spider-like, on the walls and ceilings of the room. The ANBU Hound - a veritable institute of Konoha's Dark Forces - not to be outdone by newbies, leant casually on the window frame of the normally spacious-seeming room. He shared a mocking nod with the Locust, stood dauntingly in the centre of the room.

"ANBU, thank you for joining us here today." The Godaime Hokage began her speech in a distinctly authoritative tone.

"Uh-oh," whispered a purple haired kunoichi in the Hound's ear. "Sounds ominous!"

The ANBU smirked behind his dog mask, inclining his head in the force's classic silent display of amusement as the Hokage continued.

"After consulting the surviving elite shinobi of the Third Secret War, we have decided upon a preliminary defensive strategy. We will soon be putting measures in place to prepare the medical and weaponry bunkers from the Second War, for use to our advantage. By 'prepare,' I of course mean that you will be addressing the structure of the bunkers, the security of them. In the coming weeks it will be your primary responsibility to turn these empty craters into feasible strategic outposts. I trust that I am making myself clear?" Tsunade took the pervading silence as an affirmative. "Then I hope it is a satisfying challenge for you newer recruits."

The Hokage smirked visibly as the older shinobi each inclined their heads. The mime-like, canonic actions of so many dark troops made her hair stand slightly on end; even Jiraiya straightened slightly in a defensive gesture. That same fearful unison was repeated as a low whine emitted from a shinobi in the centre of the room. The swift rushing of fabric echoed as dozens of masked white faces whipped around to witness the offending note.

The Hound, realising what was happening, grabbed the spider-like recruit on the wall beside him by the collar, dragging him over to the Locust's side.

"Not here." The Hound whispered harshly. "This is not the place, shinobi!"

As the Hound turned his head to the front of the room, witnessing the Hokage's sympathetic nod, he transported the three ANBU shinobi to Morino Ibiki's apartment, immediately despositing the Locust on the bed.

"Take off your mask." The Hound removed his own mask, and Genma's eyes widened as Kakashi pulled his hitae-ate over that deep red eye.

"Can you remove Ibiki's armour? And mask?" Kakashi disappeared into his small bathroom; Genma heard taps running as the Copy Nin - The ANBU Hound, fuck! - filled a small bowl with cool water.

"Ibiki-san?" Genma was absolutely stunned. "The Locust is Ibiki?"

"Genma," Kakashi had returned to the small room, armour gone, and began to wipe a trembling Morino Ibiki's brow with a damp cloth. "You're here because I can't do this by myself, ok? Just shut up and help?"

Genma, to whom bravado was second nature, was as shocked by the admission as he was by the placing of trust. But then, if what Raidou had told him was true, Kakashi hadn't exactly grown up in a world where bravado was important. Growing up as a soldier instead of as a child, Genma figured that asking for help when it was needed was a necessary feature of not dying. Genma, looking at Kakashi's resigned concern, had never felt more thankful for his parents' insistence on a pleasant childhood.

"Sure, man, of course." Genma was unusually quiet. "What do you need?"

At that moment, Ibiki let out a pathetic stream of noise.

Kakashi merely talked over it.

"Burning I'm burning, oh please, I cant -"

"You've been told about breaking, right? This is Ibiki's way."

"-breathe, it's too hot too hot I can't you have to, get out! Get-"

"He doesn't break very often, but they've been working him hard lately. He reverts back to a memory that has visual damage, because he thinks that'll help him heal the internal scars." Kakashi was rubbing Ibiki's back soothingly with the heel of his hand. Kneading at tense muscles as the man clawed at himself, sobbing like a child. Ibiki, like a fucking child!

"-out, please, don't die, don't die, I can't, you're all, my family, please -"

"I've seen him break once before, it was horrible." Kakashi's frown was obvious through the mask. "If he's consistent, he'll start fighting us. I'll need your help holding him down."

Genma was gaping freely, unable to put this information together in his mind. Ibiki was unshakeable. Ibiki was unshakeable. Ibiki was stone.

He fished desperately for a different topic of conversation, but Kakashi was insistent.

"I thought we weren't allowed to show ourselves to anyone but touchstones?"

"The ANBU have official rules, Genma, but we have house rules as well." Kakakashi smirked. "We help each other, we have to - no-one else gives a fuck. ANBU is a dirty word, you know?"

"Wh - what are the rules?" Genma didn't know why his mouth was so dry, hated his own weakness, the shocked tears in his eyes. Ibiki was pushing harshly at Kakashi's shirt front; the other man continued his soothing contact even as his words became cold.

"There are four main rules that we stick to. Rule one: ANBU operatives do not address each other by name unless a team-mate is dying or 'breaking.'" Genma shuddered at Kakashi's shut-off tone. "Rule two: ANBU will ignore a 'breaking' comrade unless aid is requested, or the shinobi needs removing from a public arena."

Ibiki struck Kakashi unexpectedly in the jaw, knocking him from the bed. Genma lunged immediately, pinning the fearsome man's arms, cooing comforting nonsense in his ear. Kakashi didn't say a word, just resumed rubbing Ibiki's back. For an hour they remained that way, Genma hugging the feared interrogation expert, Kakashi kneeling on the floor, soothing him. Finally, when Ibiki fell asleep, Kakashi motioned for them both to leave.

"Rule three." The Copy Nin whispered as he prepared to transport himself home. "If you are witness to a comrade's breaking, it stays confidential and off-record. You do not run your mouth about one of your own. Which means we never mention this again." Genma nodded, beginning to tremble.

"What's rule four?"

"Don't break on the field."

Genma had never heard Kakashi sound so intense, had never realised how hard being an ANBU could be. He wanted this though, he would make this work.

"Don't bother going back to the meeting, I'll get the information for us tomorrow." Kakashi hesitated. "I know it's hard, Genma, but you're capable of this work. It isn't just ANBU who break you know? Shinobi do it all the time, we're just trained to hide it... so...if you need anything..."

"I'll ask." Genma had never been more grateful. Kakashi nodded, satisfied, before disappearing from sight.

Genma went home to Raidou, not bothering to disguise his clumsy, trembling need. If Raidou was shocked, he never showed it.

"Sensei..." Naruto looked unusually sober; Sakura's eyes were bright and worried. "It's Sasuke. We can't get through..."

Kakashi followed his students to the Uchiha main house, where Sasuke still insisted on residing. In the short walk (though he'd sooner have just transported them all) Kakashi learned about Sasuke's occasional mood swings, his rapid withdrawal into himself. How it had become so much worse since his return to Konoha.

Kakashi, if not for his own personal crises, would've been more concerned, but he knew from experience how easy it was for a child prodigy to hide the truth from the world.

"We just... we just can't get through." Naruto repeated when they got to the house.

There was very good reason for that, Kakashi realised, studying the intricacies of Sasuke's barricade. Luckily, however, being a kick-arse ninja meant you could practically walk through walls so long as you knew the right jutsu. Kakashi knew a lot of jutsus.

By the time Sakura and Naruto had managed to manoeuvre their way through their team-mate's traps, Kakashi was sitting cross legged on the floor, knee to knee in front of the vacant eyed Uchiha heir. For a long time Kakashi seemed to study the boy as rocked back and forth slightly; eyes wet and furious.

"People live in the past so they never forget it." Kakashi tried to sound comforting; failed. Tried to sound teacher-ish; failed. His voice was a pitiless whisper, blunt and certain, and Naruto had to move closer to hear it, hovering uncertainly. "But what's the point if instead of honouring your dead, you just drag their ghosts behind you, uselessly?"

Sasuke's blank eyes focused red on his teacher; if he'd been in any other mood he would have lunged for the older man, ripped his eye out.

Kakashi didn't seemed at all fazed, just looked around at the old house sceptically. Obito had lived just across the street; Kakashi had been trained in the Sharingan by the Uchihas that'd lived just next door. This didn't look like the home of a proud, often arrogant clan. It looked like a tomb.

"When my father - passed, I found that moving out of his house helped a lot. To get some distance, you know?" Kakashi hated the words, hyper aware of the curious students stood behind him. "It didn't help me to forget, but I could consider it better."

"Don't sit there pretending you know how I feel!" Sasuke's voice was sand-paper rough, a sound the Copy Nin remembered from his own arguments with Obito, with Yondaime. A sound he recognised even now sometimes, in Naruto.

"I wouldn't want to know how you feel, Sasuke." Kakashi's commanding tone shocked the Uchiha, left his wide eyes quivering. Kakashi paused for too long, gathering courage to say what Sasuke had to hear. "Been there, done that; I much prefer to live the dreams of those I've lost than to let them down through my own despair." - 'When I'm lucid enough to try it.' - To his relief, Kakashi's voice was a lot stronger than he'd thought it would be.

The silence was brooding, heavy. Long. "...How did your father die?"

"What happened to 'not knowing how you feel'?" Kakashi couldn't resist the smirked response, he felt like a stubborn child. Felt like an Uchiha.

"Tell me." Kakashi should've just said no. Shouldn't have brought it all up again for the sake of one little brat. Should've just let the kid stew in himself for a little longer, should've been more comforting, more strict.

"He killed himself when I very young." He smiled casually, emphasising the impeccable steadiness of his voice; knowing how well it distracted Sasuke.

"How young?" Perfectly brutal. As ever.

"I was Seven. Though it started before that, really." Kakashi was careful to make his answers of a decent length, careful not to be too curt lest his students see his vulnerability. - 'Don't think about it. Don't go there.'- He was a shinobi.

"...I'm sorry."

"Shaa... no harm done. Now that we've had this little chat, you may have the rest of the day off. All three of you. I will see you all tomorrow." Kakashi formed the hand seals of a particularly flashy transportation. "And Sasuke?"

The dark haired boy looked up sharply as his teacher continued. "Don't make the mistake of thinking you're alone."

As Kakashi left Sasuke to his grief, Naruto and Sakura sat themselves beside him.

For almost a week - for six whole days - Konohamaru's team had not touched the book. They hadn't dared to try and evade their vigilant (and angry) sensei in order to go to their hiding spot. That Thursday, however, while the skies had cleared and the world was so beautiful, they just couldn't take it any longer.

Meeting extra early, Udon acted as look-out while Moegi and Konohamaru eased the book from its place. The excitement and suspense was uncontrollable. They would finally see the culmination of all their planning and care!

Calling their team-mate over, they peeled back the dusty - now slightly muddy first page of the album. Ignoring the inscription on the title page, they were startled to be confronted by pages upon pages of...

...some kids they didn't know.

Typical. All that work - and they didn't even discover any blackmail on their new Hokage!

A spiky haired shadow suddenly feel upon the open page Konohamaru's fist had just come down upon, and the three shocked Gennin whirled around to find Uzumaki Naruto grinning down at them.

"And what exactly are you three looking at?" Naruto's expression - from his cocky stance to his wide, cheeky grin, announced to the three Gennin 'You've been caught - 'fess up!'

"We - we found it!" Konohamaru yelled in his nervousness. Naruto snickered.

"It's true Naruto-niisan! We found it here!" Moegi came immediately to her team-mate's defence.

Naruto knew their look. He'd perfected that look. He couldn't possibly know that Umino Iruka had invented that look. They were sooooo guilty. He peered over their heads to see what appeared to be a picture of a very young Hatake Kakashi! Naruto grabbed at the album, taking a closer inspection - A very young Hatake Kakashi with both eyes!

Naruto, grinning - half at the discovery, half at his friends' dismayed expressions - flipped to the front, read through the inscription and... stopped.

A long minute passed before Naruto could trust his voice. "Did you read this?"

"No, Naruto-niisan, we just looked at the pictures."

"Well!" Naruto plastered on a fake grin, wanting to return this book as soon as possible. "I'll just give it back to its owner then! Thanks for finding it!"

Naruto, ignoring their frustrated yells, all but vanished.

X

Naruto didn't go immediately to Team 7's meeting spot, knowing that would be the last place he'd find his sensei. He tried Kakashi's home, the training grounds, the hot spa where Jiraiya-pervert frequented. He eventually asked the Ichiraku owner, who advised him to look at the monument.

"Konohamaru-chan found it, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto had read the inscription many times, and, as he handed the book over, wondered slightly how Kakashi could've lost it so easily.

"What is it?"

"Your photo album, sensei!" Naruto lost all sympathy as Kakashi played dumb. Stupid, crazy teachers and their weird weirdness.

"I don't own any photo albu -" Kakashi had begun to flick through the book as he spoke, coming to the writing at the front. Naruto couldn't help but notice the abrupt tension in Kakashi's body, the way his eye steeled suddenly at the words on the page.

"Please tell Sakura and Sasuke that I won't be present for today's training." His tone did not leave room for questioning.

"Ye- yes sensei."

"Thank you for this, Naruto." Kakashi's voice was strong, and Naruto was somewhat comforted that he hadn't hurt his teacher by giving him that book. It was the right and straight-forward thing to do, anyway. That was his Nindo. Naruto left to join his team.

For Kakashi, the world closed in swiftly, and he unexpectedly found - gazing at that once familiar fluid handwriting - that he just couldn't take anymore.

Clutching the book tightly to his chest, Kakashi transported to his bedroom, absently summoning his dogs, barely finding time to pull his covers over his head against the hopeless sobs overtook his form.

Well, tomorrow's the big day! I know I can leave you with very little that you will appreciate, awkward little brat that you are.

I hope you find I have taught you enough to be strong, and brave, and compassionate. Above all things, they've been harsh lessons that you have had to learn, but I think one day you'll find them worth something, in the end.

I have always tried to teach you as best I can could. Forgive me that there was not the time to teach you more. Not that you'd need it, knowing you. Stubborn little git. You were always too young for this life, but continue to prove your worth and your strength everyday; even as you continue to be an arrogant, stubborn, lazy, defiant...

You'll never believe me, Kakashi, because you're like that - but I am so proud of you.

I leave this for you so that, when all is said and done and you no doubt find something to feel guilty about, when you become an adult and wish to apologise a thousand times for all that you've put poor, kind, lovely me through over the years, you cannot deny that we had some fun together, the four of us!

I know you don't like sentimental things like this, but it's tough. I get the last word this time, I'm afraid.
Do me a final favour, though, and live well for our sakes?

Your loving sensei.'

x

On the facing page was a photograph taken when Kakashi was nine years old, and had just been placed in his first real team. It was the same image that was framed on Kakashi's windowsill, except that this was the Yellow Flash's copy, and written beneath it, in the same fluid script, were the simple words: "me and the kids!"

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