The problem with being an X-Man is that you never get to eat
And you never get to stop and talk with people on the street.

And when you find your throat is sore--your head is hurting too--
You wish you had some sick leave to help you through the flu.

You spend years battling villains, and just when you are done
A new artist/writer team starts up, for them it’s just begun!

Depending on the writer few emotions are allowed.
Angst is one (and yet another!) but we’re never, ever cowed.

And just when things start going right you find some awful fact;
Maggie’s Joseph, Penny’s gone, and Maggot here is whacked.

Some few mutants deal with doorways not meant for all that bulk,
And you can’t remember who you fought; Thing? Wasp? Or yet, The Hulk?

All your stuff must stay in storage for the house is trampled much,
And you don’t have any income so your date must still be Dutch.

And if you’re thinking mutant powers are fun and very cool,
Keep in mind because of these we spend our lives in school!

Pets you’re not allowed to keep, they’d just get in the way,
Unless it’s dragons or cloned sheep and for those you dearly pay.

You get hate mail from your fans--same ones you’re trying to save--
All because you broke some things while trying to stop the knave!

As you see, being one of us is really not that fun,
But to paraphrase what once was said: “It’s dirty work but must be done!” Back to the X-Mansion
Back to the living room