Dinner Time

"Gimme the salt!" Jubilee snarled as she shoved creamed corn into ther already full mouth.

"Jubilation, perhaps if you asked more politely you would get better results."

"Yeah, uh huh, right, whatever. Gimme the salt!"

Laying down his fork Scott Summers scrutinized Jubilee with a baleful glare.

"Does Sean allow this wretched behavior?"

"No? Now gimme the salt!"

Leech smiled brightly, standing up on his chair. "Leech will get it for you!" He proudly proclaimed, walking across the table to get the salt for Jubilee. Jean's chair clattered to the floor as she jumped up to give her husband the hiemlich maneuver, startling Leech into jumping back and landing accidentally in Gambit's plate.

"Leech sorry!" He wailed sadly to a startled Cajun.

"Dat be a'right little 'un, stop cryin'! Please? I didn' like dat food anyway!" Gambit stood, trying to distract Leech from his tears and failing miserably. "Chere, gimme a hand, you like kids!"

Rogue stood and picked Leech up, wiping his tears with a napkin. "It's all right shugah, ya'll didn' do anythin' wrong." Leech stopped and smiled, ignoring Scott's sputtering protests.

"He put MUD all over the table!"

"There's nothin' wrong with a little mud. We'll get it cleaned up faster'n you c'n say lickty split."

"Chill Cyc. It's just dirt and water." Jubilee plucked Gambit's food and Leech's mud off her face, flipping it onto Cyclops. "See?"

"Jubilation . . . "

"FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted Franklin, picking up what he thought was supposed to be meatloaf and bouncing it off Bishop's head.

"No!" food was thrown into Scott's open mouth, effectively shutting off the rest of whatever he was going to say.

"Head's up, swamp rat!" A southern voice shouted above the din, tucking beans down Remy's shirt.

"Hey look, ice!"

"Everett," Jubilee whispered, "Try to get it down Hank's pants!" Using the melee as cover he snuck over to where he thought Hank had been sitting, trying to keep his laughter down to a minimum. Getting to where he thought was about right (all these legs looked the same down here) he jumped up and pushed ice down into jeans, then ran off as Scott, suddenly cold, screamed his now frozen butt off.

"Wrong guy Ev!" Jubilee said, slapping his shoulder before squirting mustard at Bobby and ducking down underneath the table.

"Oh well, it worked!" he replied, grabbing the ketchup and shooting it at M, who wasn't moving.

"Stop this! Right now! Enough! Don't throw that! No! Leech, get off the table! Bobby, I don't belive you're encouraging this! Jean, not you too!"

"Lighten up, Scott." Said as she Warren with fried rice.

"Bishop, stop them!" Scott snapped before thinking.

"ENOUGH!!!!!" Jumping up on the table he whipped out his gun, shooting into the air and hitting the ceiling, chunks flying down and landing in their dinner, cracking the wood, which was not meant to hold all that weight, in half.

"He snapped our table." Broke the stillness.

"He snapped Emma's table."

"Ooooh, you're in troouuubbbllle!"

"Bishop, don't you think that was a little bit of an overkill?" Asked Jean.

"The situation had to be neutralized." Came muffled from the bottom of the pile. One wail issued up from green lips, starting an avalanche of tears from all who had ben hit.

"Oh no. Please, not this," sobbed Scott.

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"All right, does everyone have something?" A chorus of "Yeses" echoed out. "In that case, while the guys fix the table, we'll just eat out here. No food fights on the carpet, is that clear?" Jean turned and eyed the group, who looked innocent and agreed. "Good. Sit down and eat what you can find, and I'll put in the movie."

"People Eaters From Mars!" cried Jubilee, echoed by other older voices.

"Power Rangers The Movie!" cried the younger ones.

"People Eaters!"

"Power Rangers!"

"People Eaters!"

"Actually, Jean and I rented some movies already," Pyslocke said, entering the room.

"What?"

"We're going to watch "Romeo and Juliet."

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"How romantic!"

"Do we have to?"

"That's enough," Jean's voice rang out, augmented by her telepathis powers. Silence descended.

An hour into the movie, most people started to leave, having already finished dinner and not interested in what happened to the young lovers. (Jean and Pyslocke instantly changed it to Independence Day.) When the bedtime bell rang Rogue and Bishop went to go put everyone in bed, leaving the rest of the x-team to their movie.

Rogue watched Skin closely as he started to head for the outside door. he knew that Lights Out was in five minutes.

"Skin? Darlin'? What're ya'll doin'?"

"Goin' to bed." He changed direction and headed upstairs with the others. She wondered breifly how Bishop was doing with Artie, Leech and Franklin. Surely he would be fine, after all, he'd been in wars and everything, how hard could three kids be?

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"Artie? Leech? Come out here this instant!" Leaves rustled as Leech moved from one hiding place to another. Bishop was SCARY.

"I know you're in here!"

"Leech not come out for scary man! Want Banshee!"

"Banshee's not here right now."

"Want Banshee!"

"Don't you get it? It's bed time."

A squeak was heard as Bishop's foot landed on Leech's hidden hand and teeth could be felt encircling his ankle as Leech bit down hard.

Bishop grabbed the child around the neck and pulled up.

"JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! I'M AN ADVANCED OFFICER OF THE X.S.E.! DON'T YOU DARE BITE ME!"

Leech started to wail and Bishop was forced to wonder if perhaps he also had a sonic scream.

"Leech not like bad man!"

"Let my friend go!" Shouted Franklin from the tree house high up. Grabbing hold of a rope he swung down and into Bishop, knowing the shocked X-man into the thorn bushes on the other side of the path.

"I'm not getting paid enough for this," muttered Bishop, pricking his way painfully out of them. The two kids were already gone. Bishop held back a whimper and stiffened his chin. He was part of the X.S.E. he wasn't about the be taken down by mere children. hearing a movement off to his right he dived into the bushes, came face to face with Artie and snatched him up before he could run. Setting him gently on the ground he calmed himself, and them Artie as best he could.

"I'm not going to hurt you kids. It's time for bed," he called calmly.

"Will you read us a bedtime story?" Floated out of the tree house.

"Yes," said through gritted teeth.

"Will you check our room for monsters?" From the direction of the stream.

"Yes," becoming resigned.

"Will you let us sleep in your bed like Banshee does?"

"What?!!?!?!?" Surely this couldn't be right.

"If we have nightmares."

"Um. You can sleep in Scott's room." At least Scott was getting paid more.

"Deal."

Bishop breathed a sigh of relief. Getting beaten by children wouldn't look good on his permanent record. Ten minutes and he would be back with the adults, watching a movie.

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"Are you almost done brushing your teeth?" He tapped on the door with his knuckles, getting impatient. It was good that they took time to brush their teeth, but fifteen minutes?

"No!" Followed by giggles. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Can I come in?"

"No!" {giggle}

"Why not?"

"Because, it's a surprise!" Three voices rang out.

That was it. He'd seen the surprise they'd had for Logan that morning.

"I'm coming in."

"NO!" Three light slams against the door signaled that they'd all run against it, trying to keep it closed. Whispering and then an ominous click found Bishop breaking out in a nervous sweat. He tried the handle, and found without surprise it'd been locked.

"Let me in!" he bellowed."

"NO!" They bellowed back in unison.

"Unlock this door right now!"

"NO!"

"I'm giving you until the count of three! One, two, three!" Unslinging his gun he aimed at the door, looked down the sights and saw Franklin smiling back at him.

"Hi Mr. Bishop. We're ready."

Bishop carefully reslung his gun and lead the way back, checking over his shoulder every so often to see what was going on. Nothing seemed amiss . . . .

"Here we are. Go to bed." he opened the door and motioned to the large room with three beds, waiting for them to go in. Each child in turn looked, then declined.

"Well? Go in," he said again, waving them in.

"Mr. Bishop," Franklin said stepping forward, "You have to turn on the light first otherwise the monsters will eat us."

Bishop couldn't believe his ears. These children believed in monsters? And Cassidy let them? "There're no monsters. Go to bed."

"You have to turn on the light first," Franklin insisted.

"There is no such thing as monsters, look," Bishop declared, stepping into the dark room with a chorus of gasps behind him.

"Quick! Turn on the light before they eat you!" Leech called, praying that the scary man would be okay.

"There are no monsters!" Bishop flipped on the light, trying to show them and they all sighed in relief. Finally, he'd come to his senses. Running into the room they all jumped into bed, pulling the covers up to their ears.

"Good night," Bishop said, getting ready to leave.

"You said you would read us a bedtime story." He stopped dead in his tracks, cursing his earlier words.

"So I did. What would you like to hear?" Slowly he walked back into the room, pulled up a tiny chair and sat down next to the bed.

"Gerbal the Dragon!"

"The Prince of Itty Bitty!"

Superman appeared above Artie's head.

"We'll read this one." Bishop pulled out the first book he saw, In The Land Of The Monsters, and started to read.

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". . . And the little boy lived happily ever after," he sighed as he closed the book. Funny, he could've sworn it hadn't looked so long when he picked it up. "Good night." He stood to leave and was halted by Leech's voice.

"Will you check under the beds for monsters?" he turned and bit back a smart remark, it wasn't going to help. Silently he checked, then turned to leave. "And in the closet?" he looked at Leech, who smiled, then went to check the closet. "And the dresser drawers?" Silently he checked. "What about the shelves?" That was done. "Under the desk?" He checked. "Can you check behind the door?" After checking all those places and more, he finally made it to the door and said good night, shutting off the light and leaving.

"BISHOP! BISHOP! BISHOP!"

"What?!" He said, running back into the room expecting an emergency.

"Could you get us a night light? I'm scared of the dark." Leaving the light on until he got back he went and looked in all the bathrooms, then the closets, then his bedroom. He walked downstairs and heard laughter, looked longingly at the rest of his group having so much fun, and walked into the kitchen, still looking for a nightlight. When one couldn't be found there he checked the downstairs bathrooms and closets, then bedrooms and office. Nothing.

Sighing in irritation he walked out to the kitchen, where Skin was getting a midnight snack.

"Angelo, where do you keep the nightlights?"

"We don't have any." He took a bite of his sandwich and continued, "Jubilee broke the last one when she got in a water fight in the bathroom with the other girls and sprayed water all over it." He walked out of the room, going back to bed.

When Bishop got upstairs into the kid's room, a pillow fight was in full progress and he couldn't help but wonder where they got all this energy. If only it could be harnessed for good . . . .

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" There was no reaction as they kept hitting each other.

"Stop that! Give me that pillow!" pulling it away from Artie he was whacked along the back of his head, then attacked from the front. "Stop this!" He pulled the pillow away from Leech, then struggled with Franklin until he had all three. "There. Now lay down." Laughter was quickly smothered as they all got back into bed and were given their pillows back.

"I couldn't find a nightlight, I'll leave the hall light and the bathroom light on and leave your door open. Stop laughing. I said--that's better. Now go to bed. And go to sleep." he turned and left the room, walking down the long flight of stairs.

"BISHOP!"

He ran back upstairs and burst into the room, yelling, "What!" Franklin started to sniff and Bishop instantly started to apologize. "It's okay, what do you need?"

"I'm thirsty."

"There's a glass in the bathroom." He turned to leave, but once again was stopped.

"But I'm scared to go in there alone."

"The hall light is on." He growled.

"But there might be monsters in the cupboard."

"There's no such thing as monsters."

"Yes there are, they just don't attack big people."

"If there are monsters, why don't they?"

"Because you don't taste as good as us little 'uns."

"If there are monsters, how come I can't see them?" Now he had him!

"Because they hide in the dark."

"The light is on in the hall and the bathroom so it's not dark in there. You can get a drink." Bishop turned to leave, and was stopped at the door.

"They hide in the dark cabinets, where the light doesn't show."

Bishop thought about that a minute, and found he couldn't come up with a reply. "I'll take you," he said quietly.

After getting back to bed, and tucking Franklin in, He took a deep breath and started downstairs.

"BISHOP!"

"WHAT IS IT? I mean, what do you need?" He smiled, finding it quite hard, and looked at Leech.

"I'm cold."

He slammed the window shut and tossed another blanket on Leech, then left, not even saying good night.

"BISHOP!"

Slowly he walked back to the room, opened the door with a creak and looked in. "Yes?" His voice was deadly quiet, but they didn't notice.

"Artie is hot."

He looked down at the little pink child, wondering if any jury would convict him. "Come here and put these other pajamas on."

"Those aren't Artie's! Those are Leech's!"

"What about these?"

"Those are Franklin's!"

"These?"

"Franklin's."

"These."

"Leech's."

"Where are Artie's?" Bishop asked in exasperation.

Leech smiled. "Artie doesn't have any other ones!"

"All right, is that good?" Artie nodded and climbed into bed, pulling his covers over his small body covered in Bishop's shirt.

"Good night."

"BISHOP!"

"WHAT!" none of the children grimaced this time.

"I'm hungry."

"No food before bed." He turned to leave, only to be stopped by Franklin holding his arm.

"But I'm REALLY hungry!"

"All right, all right, I'll get you some food!"

After two cups of ice cream, one chicken leg and much time, all three decided they were ready for bed.

"Promise you don't have to do anything else?" Bishop made sure for the fifth time, watching as they brushed their teeth. All nodded. "Good."

They climbed in bed once done with their teeth, then watched as Bishop made sure once again that there were no monsters, put water by each child's bed, read another story, tucked them all in, made sure each wasn't too hot or too cold and finally went so far as to kiss them good night. Stepping out of the room he sighed in relief, leaned against the wall and rested his head. He'd taken care of everything. He walked down the hall, whistling quietly to himself and then, suddenly, the word rang out.

"BISHOP!" He whimpered and walked into the room.

"I thought you said there was nothing left to do." He snarled.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Twenty-eight days left.

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Back to the living room