"I'm coming, hold on!" Scott moaned aloud, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. As he approached the front door he glanced at his watch which digitally read1:32AM. Scott growled. "Whoever the heck this is is gonna catch hell!" he swore to himself.

BUM . . .BUM . . .BUM . . .*DING DONG*!

"HOLD ON!" Scott turned the door knob, half expecting to find Angelo drunk or Paige with a scuzzy looking guy, but instead found something that looked worse.

"HHHHHHHIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!" A young man said in a squeaky, shrilly, eat-your-heart-out-Pee-Wee-Herman voice.

Scott shut his eyes and cringed at the sound. The kid stood about five foot six, with glasses, waayyy too much hair spray, butt white skin, freckles, buck teeth, suspenders and loafers.

"We don't want any . . . sir . . .it's one thirty in the morning!" Scott said, trying to close the door.

"Yes, I know!" The young man said again in that shrilly voice that left Scott preferring nails on a chalkboard.

Cyclops started to worry. "Son . . .is that your voice or do you have a cold?"

"Why, it's my 100% bonafide voice, Mr. Summers! Don't let it fool ya, I'm a real hunk-o-rama with the groovy chicks. Ya know what I mean?" he smiled disgustingly, pushed his glasses back up on his nose.

"Oh . . . of course . . . what do you want?"

"I live here now, pardner!"

"What?!" Scott asked in disbelief.

"Yup, that's right, Mr. Xavihoward sent me here!"

"You mean professor Xavier."

"Oh, whatever! The guy with no hair!"

"Can I see your registration?"

"Suuuuuuuuure, pal!" He handed Scott a crinkled, torn sheet of paper saturated in a mysterious green ooze.

"Yes . . . well I do suppose you will be joining us and--OUCH!" Scott dropped the paper to the floor and examined the fingertips he used to hold the paper. Blistered!

"Blistered?" he thought to himself, "How . . .?"

"Oh, sorry, forgot to explain. That's snot, it's highly acidic, coming from my nose. It's a mutant power of mine!"

Scott's face grew long with disgust, surprise and disappointment. "You're the new kid?"

"Well, yeah! We've just established that!"

"Oh. Let's get you to a room, okay?"

"Okay, but one minute!" The mutant stepped inside, put one finer over a nostril and blew vigorously out the other as snot spattered the wood floor entranceway. "That clears things up!" He said squeakily.

"What the heck do you think you're doing??" Scott yelped in disbelief.

"Why, I'm only clearing my nasal passages!"

"Not right there you're not! Go to the bathroom right now . . . um . . . what's your name?" Scott yelled.

"Herbert Buttkiss!"

"Go to the bathroom, Herbert!"

"But . . ."

"GO!"

Jubilee stomped down the stairs as Herbert disappeared, holding on to the railing to avoid an otherwise inevitable fall. Rubbing her eyes and squinting from the porch light she managed to ask in a yawn, "Who is it Cyc?"

Scott looked up. "Go back to bed, Jubilee."

"But . . ."

"Now!"

Herbert came out just then and looked up at Jubilation. "HHHHHHIIIIIIIII there sweet thing!" He said in his shrilly voice.

Jubilee's eyes widened. "AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S REVENGE OF THE NERDS IV! RUN!!!!!!" She turned and raced up the stairs, screaming down the hallway.

"JUBILEE!" Scott called.

"what?" She said in a tiny voice as she looked over the banister, just like a little girl.

"Shhhh, it's only a very, very, very bad dream. Go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay." She slowly walked away.

"Herbert, you have to go to sleep too. Just leave your things here."

"Okay! Gosh, you're a pal!" He said, hugging Scott.

Scott tried to push him away, but it was a failed attempt.

"I hope you'll be there whenever I need you again, you've helped me so much, my special friend!"

This Jubilee overheard. "Oh my gosh!" She said to herself, "Scott's seeing guys late at night! Everyone's got to know!"

Twelve days left . . .

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