Iruka felt better in the morning, even if he had awoken in the middle of a strange dream where Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei were competing over who made a better geisha… luckily he’d woken up before Gai had begun the fan dance.
He still had to spend a little longer in the shower trying to wash away some of the images. Gai’s kimono had been bright green with a pattern of orange shuriken. Gaah. His retinas burned just thinking about it.
Still, he was awake and aware and ready to face a horde of young children who would instantly notice and exploit any weakness he might show.
He loved his job. But he was a realist. Children were not little angels. He loved every student that passed through his classroom because they were people with their own good and bad qualities. His gift as a teacher lay in understanding and responding to each student as a unique person, and helping them to grow.
Also, he had patience. Infinite bloody patience.
So he patiently led his students through their lessons, patiently answered questions, patiently graded homework, and patiently made sure the blinds were pulled completely down in every window in every classroom he was in. (He told the children they were developing their night vision. Good shinobi, after all, need to be able to function in the darkness.)
The day went so well, in fact, that he allowed himself to relax and only think about Kakashi-sensei once every ten minutes or so. Not that he was counting.
Half an hour before classes ended, he told them they could start working quietly at their desks on their assignment, and come to him if they had problems or questions.
“Iruka-sensei?”
He leaned down until he was eye level with his student. “What is it, Kenjiro-kun?”
“Hanabi is picking on me! At lunch she stood up and told everyone what colour underwear I was wearing!”
“Really?”
“And… and…. And she’s always looking at me only I can’t always tell ‘cause of her eyes, but it feels like she’s looking at me… but she doesn’t say anything except when she’s picking on me…. And… I don’t know why!” Kenjiro burst into tears.
Iruka pulled him into a hug, then looked up at the rows of desks. “Hanabi-chan, come here.” She came over to his desk reluctantly. “Is this true?” The normally pale girl’s face turned entirely red, which answered the question Iruka had asked as well as the one he hadn’t.
“We’ll talk after class, Hanabi-chan. For right now, go back to work.”
He turned back to Kenjiro-kun, whose tears had subsided into the occasional sniffle, and with lighning-fast reflexes handed the boy a tissue before he could blow his nose on Iruka’s shirt.
The life of a ninja has many hazards.
“I’ll talk to Hanabi-chan and tell her to leave you alone, okay?”
This calmed Kenjiro even further, though he still managed another mournful sniffle. “But why was she picking on me? I didn’t do anything to her!”
“Kenjiro-kun, I think Hanabi-chan may like you.”
“LIKE me?”
“Sometimes,” Iruka said, as gently as he could, “when someone likes you, or you like someone, you get nervous and don’t know what to do, so you do strange things.”
…like watch them when you think they’re not looking…
…of course, you grow out of it…
….unless, of course, you never had a normal childhood…
Well, that explained it.
Iruka smiled. It was the scariest thing most of the children had ever seen. He carefully set Kenjiro back on the floor, then stood facing the class.
He then said, in his politest, friendliest, best teacher voice that somehow matched the smile in not being quite right, “Children, I’d like you all to go home a little early today. You’re all much too young to watch a grown man have a nervous breakdown.”
It was the voice your mother uses when she doesn’t want you to know she’s about to yell at someone. Maybe you. The classroom emptied in seconds.
Leaving Iruka to sink to the floor, where he pulled his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth slowly.
He was…. And that’s why… all this time… and the food… and what Gai said… and…
And it was so blindingly obvious.
Still, he did like to win. And though Kakashi had proved himself the superior in origami (Gai had already vowed to fold a thousand paper cranes as punishment for his loss) he would surely lose to Gai's new challenge.
He'd been a little surprised to track Kakashi-sensei down so easily, as his rival usually couldn't be found right after a challenge. Probably because he was off training for the next time they would do battle. Truly, Gai was blessed to have such an inspirational rivalry.
Today, however, the very day after their last battle, Gai had stumbled upon him right out in the open, reading a little orange book, and looking supremely nonchalant. (Both of them being high level ninja, "out in the open" meant Kakashi wasn't underwater, underground, or out of the country.) Kakashi-sensei had said something about watching his genin scratch themselves only being funny for the first couple of days before Gai had once again given up trying to understand Kakashi and just challenged him.
This time, surely, he would not lose. For the challenge would be bonsai! Though to make it a true challenge, a challenge worthy of such gifted shinobi, they would be trimming the bonsai...
With a kunai. Held in their teeth. While blindfolded.
Kakashi-sensei wasn’t the only one would could be hip and MODERN.
Thus prepared for victory, Gai was about to tie on his blindfold when he felt someone approaching at high speed, their chakra flaring erratically. It appeared they would have a witness for this particular epic struggle.
“Ah, Iruka-sensei! What fortuitous timing! You can judge which of us is the most SENSITIVE and ARTISTIC!”
Strangely, Iruka-sensei didn’t respond directly to his Nice Guy Greeting, instead coming to a halt in front of Kakashi-sensei, who looked as nonchalant as ever.
Truly, Kakashi-sensei was impressive for being able to withstand the burning gaze now being directed at him by the chuunin-sensei.
“Kakashi-sensei! You’ve been stalking me for weeks now! Weeks! You’ve been acting like a ten year old with a crush!”
Such dedication!
“Twelve.” And Kakashi’s response, so modern!
“What?”
“Twelve year old.”
“Whatever!” Iruka-sensei’s scar stood out white against his reddened face. “You… you’re a jounin! You’re twenty-six! Why the hell couldn’t you just ask me out like a normal person?”
Kakashi cocked his head to the side, which meant he was about to do something truly cunning. And then his visible eye curved upward. He was managing to smile in the face of the sensei death glare! Magnificent! “Want to?”
Iruka-sensei stopped mid-rant, his mouth hanging open. “What?”
“Want to go out?”
“Um… I… Alright.”
“Great. I’ll be by your place at seven.”
And then Iruka-sensei wandered off, looking dazed and muttering something about crazy jounins and getting ready, and then Gai won the challenge, though it really wasn’t much of a challenge. His rival the copy-nin had ignored all rules of traditional bonsai trimming and asymmetry and had instead just trimmed his tree into a heart shape.
Though Gai had to admit that the detailing of the heart, especially the left ventricle, was nothing short of MAGNIFICENT.
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