Hatake Kakashi, renowned jounin of the Konoha village immediately snatched his hands from between his lean, muscled and oh-so-pale thighs. Guilt was written all over his masked-face as he laid sprawled out, legs akimbo on his large bed.
'What WERE you doing?' continued the still incredulous chuunin sensei.
'Er....' The jounin in question began to scratch his head in nervousness before realizing that his hands were still very greasy. He uncomfortably tried to rub them off on the clean sheets beneath his pale, white, nekkid ass.
'It's not what you think Ruka...' continued the silver-haired man, twitching in his agitation, 'I was...I was just MOISTURIZING.'
A moment of silence passed.
'Moist...moistURIZING?!' Again with the incredulousness, this time laced with a hint of 'who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you're-kidding'.
'Yea...yeah...my nuts...my nuts are really dry Ruka, and itchy.' moaned the jounin pathetically. He gestured frantically at what appeared to be shockingly reddened and irritated looking skin.
Wide-eyed, Iruka doubled over and leaned in closer. And closer. And closer still. All the better to peruse said nuts.
After another moment of silence passed. Finally the young sensei exhaled breathily before saying,
'Geez Kashi, they do look....really DRY'. The chuunin winced at the thought of the sheer itchiness Kakashi had to be going through.
Kakashi nodded emphatically at Iruka's diagnosis. The jounin added,
Iruka straightened and asked,
'How that happen?' the chuunin looked deeply suspicious.
'The stupid air in Ice country was so DRY, it totally dried out my skin, and the skin here' Kakashi indicated between his legs, 'is really delicate...and soft'. Mournful. He sulked poutily at his Ruka. It would take a stronger man that Umino Iruka to have been able to resist that look.
'Do you...do you want some help?' Iruka decided that he had to atone for his previous mistrust of his beloved.
Kakashi perked up significantly after that. His mood took an upward turn as well.
The very next day...
Kakashi was carefully making his way down the streets of Konoha village, trying not to aggravate his already chapped ball-ular region when he heard his name being called out,
It was Iruka. The young chuunin sensei appeared to be really excited and was waving a small dark piece of cloth in the air as he ran toward the silver-haired jounin. When Iruka finally reached the jounin, the sensei stopped, breathless, before holding out his prize at his beloved.
'What's...what's that?' questioned the jounin. He looked distrustfully at the oddly-shaped cloth. It was shaped like....it was shaped like two walnuts that had been sewn together.
The chuunin looked around them before leaning in and whispering, all animated and cute like,
'It's ball warmers!' Iruka giggled, 'I made them ESPECIALLY for you.'
'Wha...what?!' squeaked the jounin, recoiling suddenly.
'Yes! Cotton ball warmers! For the next time you have a mission in a really dry location.' Iruka looked mighty pleased with himself and his new fangled invention.
'Er...how does it...er....do they...er work?' Let it never be said that Hatake Kakashi was not an indulgent man.
'Easy, next time before you go where ever, smooth on some moisturizer, I'll help you with that if I'm around.' Iruka quickly added before continuing, 'Then slap these babies on and voila! Instant protection! It'll even prevent the moisturizer from rubbing of on your thong!' The young sensei nodded excitedly, clearly pleased with his foresight.
'Er...ok.' Muttered Kakashi as he took the small piece of seemingly stretchy cotton material waved pertly before his nose from Iruka. As he touched it and rubbed it curiously between his fingers, Kakashi noticed that it felt....very soft...and... very, very familiar.
'Ruka?' asked the jounin. It felt....it felt...it felt like...
'Yes babe?' chirped the happy chuunin.
'Where did you...where did you get this material from?'
'Oh...that.' Iruka again looked very pleased with himself. 'I cut up one of your masks to make it!'
The hidden village of Konoha had never before, in all its long and distinguished history, heard anything like the scream that emerged from Hatake Kakashi's mask-covered being.
This was written because alita_b_angel wrote 'Kakashi's ball of cotton wool' (in chibirisuchan's thread about hating ff.net) and messypeaches (because she has a dirty mind) read it as 'Kakashi's balls of cotton' and then it somehow morphed into Iruka knitting cotton ball-warmers for Kakashi (because I too have a dirty mind) and then there was this challenge about a fic dealing with 'Kakashi's balls of cotton' or erm 'Iruka knitting stuff from Kakashi's cotton balls (which is really weird) or Iruka knitting cotton ball-warmers (which is still weird but less so)' ...and so....yeah......messypeaches said she'll gonna do one too! Any other takers?
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