'I didn't realize that we had anything more to discuss.' Began Kakashi. He was in the process of making himself a hot cup of coffee as he stood half naked, completely unselfconscious in front of Raido and Genma in his small kitchen.
'Hey man, can I also get a-' Genma started to ask looking longingly at the steaming emanating from the coffee cup.
'No.' A flat refusal. The pale man didn't so much as turn to look at the pair standing behind him.
'How about if I told you you have a nice dick?' came the retort.
The gentle clinking of the teaspoon hitting the side of the coffee cup ceased immediately.
'What?' The silver-haired jounin angled his head slightly to glare at the senbon-sucking man.
'I said you have a nice di-' repeated said senbon-sucking man. Half his attention was on Kakashi, the other half was focused on Raido. The scarred man looked shocked. Genma smirked slightly, that'll teach Raido to mock him.
'I HEARD what you fucking said.' Snarled Kakashi finally spinning around to face both Genma and Raido. In his left hand he grasped the teaspoon like he would have a kunai. 'What I want to know is why the fuck you were noticing MY dick? I thought your fascination was with Iruka.'
The pseudo-kunai was raised higher as Kakashi uttered the young sensei's name. The price of his agreement with the two special jounin was slowly beginning to sink in.
'Well, I didn't do it intentionally. I was trying to get a glimpse of Iruka's pretty little face and for much of the night, that meant I also had to look at your little buddy over there.' The senbon in the jounin's mouth twitched and indicated at the 'little buddy' in question. He decided not to correct Kakashi's assertion that their interest had only been in Iruka. 'Anyway, I'd just thought it'd be polite to mention that it's very nice.'
Oddly enough, that his dick hadn't been the main focus of Genma's attention seemed to partially mollify Kakashi for even though the pale man continued to glower at Genma, the make-shift kunai in his hand had reverted back to a mere teaspoon. The clinking resumed. After a couple more seconds passed, Kakashi even took out two more cups with his free hand.
Raido breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment he was worried for Genma. It was surely a hell of a lot more painful to be stabbed with a teaspoon than a kunai. His long-haired moron of a partner was lucky that Kakashi was one of the few men insane enough to not mind having the attractiveness of his male member discussed casually over morning coffee. In fact, now that he gave it more thought, given Kakashi's reputation for arrogance, Raido wouldn't have put it past the pale man's dick to actually be preening right now. If any dick could, it would be Kakashi's. And probably Genma's as well. They were unrepentant preeners, both of them. But at the moment Raido couldn't fucking believe that Genma had gone though with it. Only just last night Raido had scoffed at his lover when the long-haired man told him what he was going to tell Kakashi the next day.
'You're kidding right? He'll smash your face in with a sock.'
'Why not? I wouldn't mind if someone told me I had a nice dick.' Genma looked pointedly at his half dozing partner. Raido, in all the time they had spent together had never, not once praised the physical attractiveness of Genma's dick. Oh the scarred man had praised how far the little (Oi!!! I SAID not to call me LITTLE!) fella could reach, but he had never actually complimented it on its physical appearance. Not even once. Hrumph.
'What are you going to say? "By the way Kakashi, I couldn't help but notice that your dick's really pretty?" Yeah, that'll go well.' Raido rolled his eyes as he scratched at his still sticky stomach. Hmmm...a shower would be a good idea right about now. If only he could find the energy to move...That last bout had been particularly energetic.
'Well I could say, "Hey Kakashi, from one nice dick to another-' Genma paused a second as what he had just uttered sunk in. Raido on the other hand was already curled up, knees to chest, gasping in close to hysterical laughter.
'From....hahahahah...from...ahahah...one nice...one nice hahaha dick...to hahahahahah another. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH'
'Shut up you fuck!' Genma roared as he pounced onto the convulsing man. The long-haired jounin then promptly slid right off Raido, falling hard onto the floor. The scarred man's muscled torso was almost entirely covered in both cum and lube making him extremely slippery you see.
Raido had to give the long-haired jounin credit for having balls. Genma was nothing if not stupidly brave.
'I'm assuming that the two of you didn't just come here to ogle at my dick and drink my coffee?' muttered Kakashi as he handed out two cups of coffee to Genma and Raido. The three men began to move from the kitchen into the more spacious living room where Kakashi's old but still comfortable couch was. The scarred man as he walked towards the living room, was wondering how (in light of Kakashi's reaction to the niceness of his dick) the pale jounin would have taken to questions regarding his underwear wearing habits and more importantly, Iruka's as well.
'Course not. Aren't you being silly? We also came to congratulate you on a job well done.' Chirped Genma once he had taken an appreciative taste of the coffee. 'Umm...good coffee.'
'Thanks. I had the beans specially processed and spliced with vanilla.' It wasn't often that Kakashi encountered a fellow coffee connoisseur. Most of the Konoha shinobi were unrepentant tea worshippers.
'Oh...that's just brilliant. Very Yummy.' Genma took another happy sip. 'Do you think it's possible to get it done with chocolate bon bo-'
'GENMA!' Raido burst in. God, the two morons in front of him deserved to live on an island by themselves far, far away from ordinary folk. They would only be allowed visitors for conjugal visits. Basically that meant they would only mingle with Raido and Iruka. The scarred man then wondered what Genma and Kakashi would do if left stranded on an island, just the two of them. He came to the conclusion that both men would have to be placed on different ends of the island with a high, impenetrable fence between them to prevent any unauthorized penetrations. Horny bastards.
'What?!' came the irked reply. At the deeply MEEVED look that Raido shot him (although to be fair, the meeve-ness wasn't entirely due to the coffee digression but also to Raido's own train of thoughts), Genma had the decency to look slightly sheepish as he cleared his throat. 'Oh yes. Right. Erm...Kakashi, we came to talk about what happened last night.'
'You got what you wanted. There's nothing more to discuss.' Came the blunt reply. The silvered-hair man was clearly planning on pretending that the whole incident never took place.
'Yeah well, there's the whole matter of making sure the entire matter stays between just the three of us. Umino must NEVER find out.'
'Do you think I'm stupid?' came the copy-nin's disgusted reply.
'I think you're in luuurve. Who knows, you might be dumb enough to suddenly confess your sins when you look into the sensei's pretty doe-eyes and guilt overwhelms you.' Shot back Genma.
'I attended Ibiki's class on techniques against doe-eyed looks together with Raido.' Countered the pale jounin.
'Yeah, and look where that's got him' scoffed Genma, senbon twitching as he grinned at his partner.
'HEY!' began Raido in protest. But just as suddenly he stopped, speechless as he realized that all the training he had received had in fact, been effectively useless against Iruka, save for that single occasion in the mission room. But he couldn't really blame Ibiki. The large man couldn't have possibly anticipated that Umino Iruka-sensei had at least EIGHT levels of doe-eyed looks. Doe-eyed folk usually had at MOST three levels and these users were mostly below the age of 6. It was definitely time for Ibiki to update the syllabus of that particular course.
'I've been watching Iruka with my Sharingan remember. I've seen ALL his doe-eyed looks. I can even copy them.' Bragged the silver-haired man.
Genma and Raido immediately and quite violently shook their heads when it seemed that Kakashi was planning to demonstrate what he had copied. The vision of a doe-eyed Hatake Kakashi was just too much for any being to handle. Grinning, the pale man continued, 'I'm quite well covered.'
'You sure? You'll never know, he might have just one more that he hasn't used yet.' The scarred man could barely restrain the shudder that ran through his lean frame at that thought. In his opinion, Iruka single-handedly put the DOE in doe-eyed. Hell, the chuunin could probably out-doe all the actual does in existence so potent was his power.
'Look, don't worry about me ok? Just focus on keeping your mouths shut and it'll be alright.'
'Fine. You said it not me. After what happened to Anko-'
'What happened to Anko?' interrupted Genma.
'You didn't hear what happened to Anko?' questioned Raido wide-eyed. EVERYBODY had heard about what happened to the unfortunate Anko and her incomplete and very messily written mission report. It didn't help her case when instead of being suitably contrite when Iruka-sensei had scolded her, she gave him lip. LIP. Poor, poor, foolish Anko.
'Yes I did. I'm just asking to add dramatic suspense to the situation.' Genma rolled his eyes.
To his credit, Raido managed to ignore the long-haired man's sacarsm. Just barely. And only because they were in the presence of company and Raido's mama had brought him up to be a well-mannered young man.
'You know she's been on this really long mission right?' Raido continued through gritted teeth.
'Yeah, to Sand Country? They requested assistance to capture two highly skilled missing-nins. Actually I was pretty surprised they sent her and not you.' The long haired jounin gestured at pale man who was carefully sipping his coffee. Kakashi, of all the active jounins in Konoha had the best record for apprehending missing-nins, particularly those from other villages. His Sharingan, when not being misused to aid his left-handed fantasies was actually quite proficient in copying the foreign-nins jutsus and then using it against them.
The pale man smirked slightly, blowing off the steam still emanating from his cup before replying,
'Course not. My Ruka's been put in charge of assigning missions. Such a long trip would have interfered with our dates. Plus he knows I hate having sand stuck in my bits. Itches and chaffs the skin.' The fair-skinned man wrinkled his nose in distaste.
'That's...that's...nepotism!' Raido yelled accusingly, pointing a finger at Kakashi, aghast. He was also madly trying to figure out how to use the leverage he had with Iruka to his advantage, mission-wise. He hated, absolutely hated any assignments in places where he had to squish around in wet boots. However, because she was a vengeful old harridan, Tsunade had been gleefully assigning him all missions that occurred in Wave Country for the past two months. Shizune had let it slip that it had something to do with his whispered comment to Genma during a jounin-level assembly. According to her, the Hokage hadn't been able to catch the full statement but what she did manage to hear was enough for her to condemn Raido to prancing around in wet boots for the foreseeable future. In all honesty Raido couldn't even remember using the words 'Godaime', 'boobies' and 'jingle bells' in a sentence.
The silver-haired jounin merely continued to smirk in a highly smug and self-satisfied manner. He said,
'Would someone just tell me what happened to Anko?' Genma impatience grated on Raido's already frayed nerves. In turn, the scarred man ground out,
'I thought you already heard?' Raido's papa on the other hand, had taught him to always fight fire with fire.
'You little fuck.' Said Genma as he drained the last of his coffee and narrowed his eyes at his belligerent lover. Of course he didn't mean it really but Raido was being a brat.
'Oh, that's not what you were saying last night MY LOVE.' Came the drawled reply.
At this, Kakashi snorted in laughter earning him equally deadly glares from both special jounin.
'I'm so sick of dealing with the both of you!' yelled Raido, at the end of his tether. 'YOU!' he jabbed at Genma, 'YOU don't get to know what Iruka did to punish Anko. You wanna know you can jolly well ask her yourself. Good luck, she's still randomly stabbing at things with her kunai.' Raido then spun around and pointed an aggrieved finger at Kakashi.
'And YOU!' The aggrieved finger actually had the audacity to poke the copy-nin right in his bare chest. 'Tell me what underwear you and Iruka wear.'
'The fuck?' the silver-haired man hadn't been expecting that.
'TELL ME!' roared Raido earning him stunned looks for the two other men in the room.
'NO!' yelled back Kakashi. Pervert!
'DO YOU USUALLY WEAR BLACK SILK THONGS?!! TELL ME!!!' The visible rage in Raido's dark eyes was quite fascinating to watch. The pale jounin realized that he had to handle this carefully.
'Oh that. No, not usually. That's my only one.' If Kakashi had learnt anything in all his years as a shinobi, it was that in the face of great agitation, the best thing to do was to remain calm and collected. It also helped to indulge the agitated person to dispel any residual anger. He did however, back away as discretely as possible and kept his exposed eye fixed on the scarred man, carefully watching for any sudden movements.
'Bought it special?' questioned Genma as dryly as he could. He was also an experienced shinobi and immediately understood what Kakashi was doing. He too kept an eye on his irate lover as he inched closer to Raido with the intention of soothing his beloved. That, and it would be harder for the scarred man to fling anything at him at such close range before Genma could stop him.
'Yeah. But it's gone now.' The pale jounin didn't sound too put out over the fact.
'Eh? Did it tear?' The sensei did have sharp teeth. Genma had finally reached Raido's side and softly rested his palm on the other jounin's back, moving in reassuring circular motions. I'm sorry baby his palm said. The spikey-haired man seemed to settle a bit then, physically if not vocally accepting the apology. He relaxed into the senbon-sucking man's touch.
'No no. Ruka took it.' The palm froze.
'Iruka...took it?' Genma was barely able to get that sentence out.
'Wha...why?' It was Raido this time, thoroughly distracted from his enraged meeve-ness. Like Genma, the images dancing through his head made it difficult to speak and breath at the same time.
'Dunno. Didn't wanna ask either.' Smiled Kakashi. He added, 'He said he'll surprise me.' The pale jounin's single exposed eye curved up delightedly into an inverted U. 'I like surprises.'
There was a brief silence in the living room as all three man attempted to regain control of their thoughts. Finally, Raido spoke.
'What does Iruka wear?' He was calmer now, Genma's touch had had its desired effect. Raido decided to push his luck given the good mood Kakashi seemed to be in.
'If you didn't see I'm not telling.' Came the curt reply. The inverted U vanished, replaced by a steely eyed glare. Over protective much?
'Awww...common Kakashi' whined Genma. However before he could continue, there was a loud BAPTH sound and a lithe form suddenly appeared among their midst.
It was none other than Umino Iruka, esteemed sensei of the Konoha Ninja Academy. Town hottie. Prince of all beings doe-eyed.
'Kashi-san!' the young sensei called out before he realized that Kakashi was in fact, standing right in front of him. 'Kashi-san!' The chuunin began again, already flinging his arms around the half-nude jounin, 'I decided to take the day off like you said so we could-' Just then, the joyful sensei abruptly realized that they weren't alone.
'Gen...Genma-san, Raido-san...what...what are you doing here?' The chuunin instantly snatched his arms off Kakashi and stumbled away from the taller man. He flushed pink, deeply embarrassed at being caught in his indiscretion. Kakashi was at this point still a tad too stunned to speak. He did however, instinctly react to having Iruka move away from him and immediately pulled the young sensei back, cuddling the chuunin against his bare chest. Iruka blushed even further but made no move to push away.
'Errrrrrrr...' Yeah, this was the sound that emanated from the two highly trained special jounin.
'Did you come by to speak to Kakashi-san regarding THAT matter?' The young sensei's eyes were wide open and worried at he peered hard at Genma and Raido.
'That...that matter?' choked out Genma.
'Yes. THAT matter. The...the...the MISSION we've been discussing for the past few weeks.' The doe-eyes were working at full force, clearing pleading for Genma and Raido not to say anything wrong.
'The...mission?' Raido struggled to understand.
'Yes! The mission! But it's alright! You don't have to discuss it with Kakashi-san anymore! I've...I've solved it by myself!' Iruka was almost bouncing in his agitation. He was still snugly encased in Kakashi's arms. The silver-haired man wisely chose to remain silent. Let the two voyeurs deal with this, he had his Ruka in his arms once again, and the friction the sensei was causing as he bobbed about was very...agreeable. Kakashi was content.
'Oh the MISSION!' Genma finally got it. He was almost faint with relief. Iruka thought that he and Raido were here in their capacity of 'match-makers'. 'Oh...ok. Sure thing. We'll...er...we'll leave it to you then. The...the mission.'
'What?' Raido was still lost. 'Leave what to who? What?'
Genma sighed. Pretty, pretty Raido. He whispered to the befuddled man that he would explain later. Both men watched as Iruka exhaled heavily, tension flowing out of his body as he thought that his secret alliance with the two special jounin would continue to remain under wraps. Just then, the young sensei stiffened. He had finally noticed that Kakashi was standing around with only an unbuttoned, and very low slung pair of pants on. His brow wrinkled in what appeared to be a teacherly type of displeasure. Ohhhhh senseeeiii....
'Kashi-san, you really shouldn't stand around like that. It's chilly.' The young sensei chastened as he turned about in Kakashi's arms to face the jounin. Iruka placed a warm palm at the pale man's rather cool, sleekly bare chest. The jounin in question shivered slightly. However, that might have had less to do with the weather and more with the hand on his nude flesh. Iruka then pulled the worn blanket off Kakashi's threadbare sofa and carefully draped it around the taller man, pausing to soothe it lovingly over the sharp lines of the jounin's lean shoulders. The chuunin then leaned in closer and whispered, quiet, so that the two other man in the room wouldn't catch it,
'And Genma and Raido are here.'
Was that....Kakashi's brow rose. Oh yes, that was. There was definitely more than just a tinge of possessiveness in the young sensei's tone as he continued to stroke caressingly up and down, along the jounin's now cloth-covered arms. As if to confirm Kakashi's suspicions, Iruka chose that very moment to frown up at Kakashi, the young sensei's lower lip sticking out slightly in his displeasure
Kakashi almost giggled in glee, his Ruka was feeling a little protective was he? Maybe even a tad jealous? Heeheeheeheehee...and all that Kakashi was revealing were an uncovered chest and stomach! Imagine what Iruka would do if....ohhhh....CRAP. The jounin couldn't restrain the wince that ran across his suddenly tense face. The enormity, not to mention the sheer stupidity of what he had done was sinking in even further now.
'Kashi-san?' Iruka inquired immediately, adorable in his wide-eyed concern as he watched his lover's face contort into a strange look. 'Are you feeling ok?'
'Er...thought I was going to sneeze.' Muttered the pale man, hastily rubbing the back of his hand across his nose. CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP.
'You see! Chilly! Go and put on a shirt right this instant!' Iruka pushed Kakashi towards the bedroom where the closet lay, then promptly changed his mind. 'Wait! I'll help!'
He pulled the jounin back causing Kakashi to bump into him, then began to tug the older man once again in the direction of the bedroom. Iruka continued,
'Genma-san, Raido-san, please excuse us a moment, I need to help Kashi-san put on a shirt before he catches a cold.'
The tone was pleasant enough, but the LOOK the sensei gave. Oh, THAT was another matter entirely. The look the chuunin gave the two special jounin was laced with something that Genma didn't quite want to linger too much upon. Suffice to say it was a look that, in no uncertain terms proclaimed ownership. In fact, if looks could speak, Iruka's would have said 'You two are nice, helpful people but Kakashi is MINE! Mine mine mine mine mine mine MINE! LOOK AT OWN RISK. TOUCH AND DIE IMMEDIATELY'
As they watched the previously self-possessed, much revered and fear copy-nin allow himself be maneuvered and tugged around like a rag doll, Genma commented,
'Gee. Never realized that Iruka would be so...you know.'
'Yeah well, if you had handed in more of our mission reports instead of making me do it, you'd have seen that Iruka-sensei, when he's in his element, ain't someone you'd want to mess around with.' Replied the scarred man shaking his head and sighing deeply.
'You know, this was something you might have wanted to bring up BEFORE we started all this?'
Raido made a phhhfffting sound before commenting,
'Would you have listened?'
'You could have at least MENTIONED that Iruka had been placed in charge of dishing out mission assignments. Do you know what will happen to us if-'
'DUDE! THAT was the reason why the JOUNINS held an EMERGENCY meeting like FIVE months ago!!! Don't you remember Asuma totally freaking out and almost stabbing himself in the eye with his cigarette?'
'Oh yeeaaaahhhh...I wondered what that was about.'
'Even Ibiki was whining. EE-BI-KI.' Raido stressed the scary-ass interogater's name in case Genma didn't catch his drift. 'How could you not pay attention?'
'Er... I was erm...distracted.' Gee, even Ibiki? Truth be told the large man gave Genma the chills. He was just so enthusiastic about messing around with people's heads, and when he started talking about his latest torture methods. Shudder. And Iruka-sensei scared him? Maybe this whole fiasco with Kakashi and Iruka hadn't been such a great idea after all. But man, had last night been HOT. Nah, it had been worth it. Still...Ibiki?
At the look Raido gave him, Genma said,
'Well, it was your own fault for biting my ear just before the meeting started.'
'YOU BIT MY NECK FIRST!'
'What?!' yelled Raido, 'It is NOT! You...'
However, before Raido could continue Genma broke in saying,
'We're so totally screwed if Iruka ever finds out.'
'So's Kakashi.' The scarred man sounded infinitely pleased with that fact.
'Yeah but Iruka's in LUUUURVE with that pale bastard. At most he'll make him a sex slave or something. But us?' Genma sighed, 'You think missions with water in your shoes and sand chaffing your dick are bad? If Iruka finds out he'll probably assign us stuff where we have to shove watery sand up our asses as part of the mission profile.'
'Isn't watery sand mud?' questioned Raido. He was a man into the details.
'Dude. Focus.' As Genma had thought before, Raido while pretty, wasn't the brightest of bulbs. And he had the 3 second attention span of a goldfish. One that was probably dropped on its golden head as a child. Genma had once teasingly asked the scarred man if he'd ever forgotten he was scarred and whether he was surprised when he looked in the mirror every morning. That conversation hadn't gone well. He dick still shuddered a little when it recalled the treatment it had received in response with its foolish owner's inability to keep his senbon-sucking mouth shut.
'Right. Sorry.' Raido sighed yet again, 'What's taking them so long?' he murmured as he turned and looked at the closed bedroom door.
'What do you think?' The senbon wobbled as Genma's mouth formed his trade-mark smirk.
'Oh.' Raido blinked, 'NOW?' Disbelief laced his voice, surely Iruka-sensei wouldn't. Not while the two of them were around.
Genma grinned around his senbon as gave the scarred man a cheeky side-long glance. He said,
'Wanna go check?'
Raido smiled back. Hell yeah.
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