The still silence of the apartment was shockingly shattered, first by a loud 'BAPTH' and then by a rather panicked scream.
'Arrrggghhhhh...LUUUUUUBE!' shrieked Raido, arms failing about, crashing onto his knees as both men re-materialized in their apartment.
In a feat previously unrecorded in the history of shinobi jutsus, Shiranui Genma had found a way to strip while still in incorporeal form. Lust, like boredom was the mother of all great inventions. Unfortunately, upon re-materialization, one discovered that unless one maintained physical contact with one's clothing, said clothing would vanish mysteriously, lost in the mystifying machinations of the transportation jutsu.
As a result of this new and handy discovery, Raido found himself on his knees, butt naked from the waist down with his lean thighs spread wide apart as Genma eagerly tried to ready the his tight, wet but yet un-lubed passage for entry. The scarred man's pants were of course lost in the previously mentioned mystifying machination and there was nary a thread in sight. Genma however, only had time to un-buckle and un-zip, gratefully freeing his achingly hard length. His full focus had been on disrobing his partner and other...stuff.
'Lubelubelubelubelube! Get the fucking LUUUUBE!' yelled the scarred jounin once again, squirming anxiously away from sharp, questing and very determined fingers.
'Don't be a wuss!' The long-haired man snarled back, finally breaking off in his task as he tried to hold the other jounin in place. Raido ALWAYS had to make things so difficult.
'I'll...urrrghhh...I'll fuckin...gaahh...fucking BREAK YOUR FINGERS!'
'I LICKED you! You're already SLICK! What MORE do you want WOMAN?!'
Shiranui Genma also discovered that his highly reputed flexibility and ability to DO things were still very viable even in incorporeal form. Furthermore, licking, like stripping could easily be performed in such a state if one was determined (determined and horny were synonymous in this case) enough. Yet another feat for the record books. The long-haired jounin made a mental note to inform Iruka-sensei of the specifics of this particular jutsu. Rumor had it that the kids in the young chuunin's class were always clamoring for new fangled jutsus. The child prodigy Hyugaa Hanabi for one would love a change to learn a new justu.
'LUUUUUUU-OOOOOOOOOBE!' wailed the spikey-haired jounin once again, back-kicking in his agitation, almost taking out little (Oi!!! Who you calling little you bitch!?)-Genma.
Exhaling sharply, Genma jerked up from his kneeling position and stomped over to retrieve the tube of lube that was usually hidden in the folds of the couch. He bent and tersely yanked it from its hiding place. Suddenly the long-haired man paused, the wheels in his devious mind almost visibly turning. The tube of rainbow bright Tropicana lube dangled from his fingers, almost forgotten,
A moment passed, the only sounds in the apartment were the harsh breathing from both men.
'Raaaiiidoooo' the long-haired jounin finally drawled, a small smile on his lips.
'Get OVER HERE!' snipped back the scarred man, still on his knees, muscled butt twitching deliciously as he wriggled it about, trying to entice his partner back to him.
'You suuuure you want the luuuube?' continued Genma, smile growing wider, white teeth showing. He waved the red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet tube about tauntingly.
'The fuck you taking about?' spoken though gritted teeth. If personified, Raido's butt would at this point be screeching out fuckmefuckmefuckmeNOW.
'Weeeellll....I could DOOOOO that thiiiiiiing you liiiiiike.....wouldn't neeeeeeed luuuuuuuube then...'
A single elegant eyebrow rose as the long-haired man smirked all charming like. He swiped his nimble tongue wetly across his lower lip. Then reaching into his lower pant pocket, Genma withdraw a senbon, palmed it for a moment before bringing it up to his open mouth, delicately licking it, deliberately slow, from one sharp tip to the other. The jounin then popped the metal needle into his mouth, sucking hard.
Raido's eyes narrowed as he straightened his back, carefully watching. His personified ass was also still and silent, clearly deep in contemplation. Suddenly swifter than the normal eye could see, the scarred man shot up, grabbed Genma's hand and pulled him violently into their bedroom. There was laughter and then a loud slam as the door was hastily slammed shut.
It should, at this point, be noted that unlike Kakashi's quaintly old fashioned room with its long elongated windows, Genma and Raido's more contemporary bedroom only had a small, teeny window coupled with niftily modern blinds that shielded their activities from curious eyes.
Ah well, let this be a lesson to remind us all that life can be a bitch sometimes and we can't always get what we want. The best we can do is bravely deal with our disappointments and try to move on. That of course, is, and always will be the shinobi way.
The next day...
'So, what was your favorite part?' questioned Raido as he and Genma made their way over to Kakashi's apartment. It was already late enough in the morning that Iruka would have to be at the academy, but still early enough that Kakashi would have an hour or so to keep his team waiting.
'Nailing you after.' came the swift reply.
Raido exaggeratedly rolled his eyes but the small smirk on his lips belayed the truth. If Genma had answered anything BUT that he would have probably found his groin in yet another tight grip. And not in a oh-I'm-feeling-you-up-for-hot-sex sort of way either.
'I meant when we were watching you dodo'
'Oh....hmmmm....probably when Iruka sucked...no wait....when Kakashi tried to lick....no no....ok. I got it. When the sensei used his teeth to try and pull Kakashi's thong off!' Genma snickered at the memory of the look of sheer disbelief on the pale jounin's face as he peered down, shocked at the sight of the oh-so-innocent sensei with his black silk thong nipped between his teeth.
'I thought Kakashi's head was going to explode!' agreed the scarred special jounin also snickering.
'His dick came close I think. It even LOOKED like it was struggling valiantly when it finally popped free.'
'Yeah. Pretty good control there don't you think?'
'Probably from all the practice he's had over the years from reading porn in public.'
The two special jounin continued to stroll along in companionable silence.
'I never figured Kakashi for a g-string sort of shinobi though' said Genma contemplatively, breaking the silence.
'Oh? What do you think he'd wear?' asked Raido curious. Genma himself was a g-string wearing shinobi but unlike Kakashi, he preferred his thongs brightly colored. Then again, they only saw that one black silk thong of Kakashi's. Nice contrast though, pale skin, black silk. No wonder Iruka-sensei was so enthralled. As Raido recalled, it had been quite a battle for Kakashi to remove the sensei's face from his crotch. Oh wait, the thong was pretty much gone by then, must have been something else that held the young sensei's attention so reverently.
'Eh?' The scarred man was surprised. Nothing?
'You know....go commando' replied the senbon-sucking man, gesturing with wriggly fingers around his groin region.
'What? That's...I mean...ewww' Raido winced. Most shinobi, well, most MALE shinobi anyway, and probably maybe Anko, would wear the same pair of pants for days on end before washing. Laundry was done, maybe once, if they were being particularly fastidious, maybe twice every two weeks. And sometimes during missions, they would have to go for weeks on end with only one set of clothing. So, if the silver-haired man did in fact go commando, that was just ...ewwwy.
'I mean, it's obvious that he's pretty self-indulgent, not to mention a lazy fuck.' added Genma seemingly deep in thought.
Raido didn't know if he agreed with the second bit anymore because from what he observed last night, Kakashi looked like he took pretty good care of himself. There was no way a shinobi, much less a jounin as battle-worn as Kakashi could have managed to remain as pale and smooth as he had without the careful and frequent use of moisturizer and sun-screen. Plus as both he and Genma had noticed, the pale man's skin practically gleamed. And it wasn't just the lube either. Pale, silky, gleaming skin was usually a sure sign of an excellent skin care regiment. And the industrious use of a rich, high quality moisturizer. However, before the scarred man could comment, Genma continued,
'He seemed more like someone who would run out of underwear in about a week and then prance around butt-nekkid under his pants because he couldn't be bothered to wash any. Either that or use the disposable kind.'
Ok, that description Raido had to agree with. Maybe Kakashi spent all his free time sun-screening and moisturizing that he didn't have time to do laundry? But then ewwwy...moisturizer was hard to get out of clothing, particularly if it was the luxuriously rich sort that was really greasy. Hmmm...that would probably explain his constant vanilla scent. The scarred man made a note to ask Iruka if Kakashi tasted bitter. From what he knew, scented moisturizer might smell nice, but boy, did they taste bitter.
'Oi, Raido, you paying attention to me?' the long-haired man nudged his distracted companion lightly.
'What?' Raido blinked and re-focused his attention on his partner. 'Yeah, yeah, I heard you.'
'So? What do you think?'
'I think you spend way, WAY too much time thinking about Kakashi's underwear.' The scarred man gave his friend a side-long, slightly weirded out glance.
For that, Raido received a deathly glare from the senbon-sucking man. Sighing resignedly, the long-suffering special jounin realized that he was going to contribute somehow to Genma's diatribe if he wanted any peace.
'Fine fine, well, maybe Kakashi wore his black silk thong specially for Iruka.' Ah, a stroke of brilliance on Raido's part.
'Hmmm...I think you've got something there. He probably figured they'll be doing it anytime soon and wanted to be prepared!' finished Genma triumphant.
'Yeah, 'em ANBU dudes are usually like that. Leave no stone unturned, no ball un-thonged and all that jazz.' Replied Raido, glad to be finished with the topic.
'I didn't manage to get a good look at Iruka's underwear though. Last night I thought it was boxers but now that I think about it, it was too low slung. And the waist-band didn't look like boxers.' Remarked Genma sounding a little put out. 'Kakashi yanked it off together with the sensei's pants and tossed it god knows where.'
Oh yeah, now that Raido thought about it, the young sensei had gone from having pants to butt-freaking-nekkid in a span of a couple of seconds. He exhaled heavily before saying,
'And now I'm sure you'll tell me what sort of underwear you think Iruka wears'
'Briefs!' chirped Genma immediately.
'No way, not normal briefs.' Replied Raido. This time he was prepared.
'No normal briefs?' The senbon-sucking man wrinkled his nose, senbon twitching in response. The idea of the young sensei in skimpy little briefs obviously agreed with him. Hell, it would agree with anyone.
'Maybe one of those jock type tights.'
'Iruka so does not wear tighty whiteys.'
'Of course not dude, I meant like bicycle shorts, only you know, in underwear form.' scoffed the scarred man, 'Gai probably wears tighty whiteys, only his would be lime green. Probably glows in the dark as well.'
'How do you know?' questioned Genma, although he had to admit Raido had a pretty good point.
'Dude, I've SEEN his panty-line' muttered Raido, greatly disturbed at the memory that had been seared into his brain for all eternity.
'Do guys have panty-lines?' questioned Genma. Well, he'd never heard of the term brief-line so Raido was probably correct.
'Whatever. There was a distinct bulging under his butt covered spandex.' The scarred man shuddered at the memory.
'Dude, what WERE you doing staring at Gai's butt anyway?' snickered Genma, 'Is there something you're not telling me? Coz I swear, I'm so NOT going to watch him get it on with-' Hmmm....who'd Gai get it on with anyway? He did have an unnaturally close relationship with the bushy eye-browed student of his. Ok...ewwww. Genma shuddered this time.
'That's just...that's just SICK dude. Stop thinking that!' Shot back Raido having spent enough time with the long-haired jounin to be able to read his thought as well as his facial expressions and senbon twitches. 'Anyway, as I was saying, Iruka probably wears fitting stuff but with more material than skimpy briefs. After all, he's so PERT.'
'Ooooohh...you're right!' replied Genma gratefully distracted from his previously ewwwy thoughts. 'No way he could maintain that level of pertness all these years without having good support!'
Raido was pretty sure butts weren't exactly like breasts when it came to needing support but who was he to contradict someone like Genma with his deep understanding of undergarments. Instead the scarred man said,
Indeed they were. Both men stopped walking and peered up at Kakashi's apartment with its only fashioned long elongated windows. Then, all of a sudden, two familiar forms emerged from the street-level doorway of the building.
'Gah, Iruka's still here!' squeaked Genma, hastily yanking Raido into a conveniently located alleyway. Both men peeked out sneakily at the frolicking couple.
'What's he still doing here? Doesn't he have classes?' murmured Raido in disbelief. Did the illustrious Umino Iruka sensei ditch his classes to get a morning nookie? Heaven forbid!
'Probably wanted some morning nookie.' Replied Genma grinning.
Both men watched in silence.
Kakashi was only half dressed, unmasked. His pants were zipped up but the clasp was left undone, definitely teasing. The dark pair barely stayed in place allowing Genma and Raido a clear view of the pale man's alluringly sleek hipbones once again. Iruka on the other hand had managed to dress himself fully, but remained very, very, oh so delightfully rumpled. His long dark hair was loose, falling messily over his shoulders, tangled no doubt from impatient lean pale fingers. Clearly both men hadn't had the time nor could be bothered with something as insignificant as a simple hair tie. The young sensei then leaned up and pressed his still swollen mouth against the silver-haired jounin's, fingers tugging the silvered head closer to him.
One last, achingly long, deeply wet kiss.
Yummy....neither man seemed willing to release the other's tongue. More moments passed as Genma and Raido watched enraptured. Finally Iruka pulled away and nuzzled into Kakashi's neck, smiling slightly to himself before dropping a light kiss there. The jounin whispered something to the young sensei causing him to flush pink yet again. Laughing out loud this time, Iruka stepped back from the jounin, shoving lightly when the taller man refused to release him. The young sensei then bowed, polite as can be and finally dashed away turning only once to wave before disappearing. Kakashi grinned, lifted a hand to wave back before dropping it to his belly, scratching lazily at his silkily muscled stomach. Then all of a sudden, he stiffened and turned, abrupt, to glare at the alleyway. The jounin waited a beat to ensure that the young sensei was truly gone before yelling out, irritation clear in his tone,
'You morons can come in if you want! I need coffee.' He then spun about and made his way back into the building.
The two hidden special jounin smirked at each other before emerging and strolling towards the apartment complex.
Time to face the music.
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