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O_o

Raido couldn't believe that he let that senbon-sucking bastard talk him into this. Fuck Genma and his dexterous tongue. The scarred jounin sighed heavily as he realized that that was precisely what got him into this in the first place. Right, don't fuck Genma and his dexterous tongue. At least not for the next few days. Ok, two days. Hmmm...tonight. Fine, for the next 60 minutes. That'll teach that smug bastard. But he couldn't focus on oral appendages at the moment, no matter how skilled. Raido had more pressing issues to deal with, namely a certain dark-haired chuunin sensei. Mission, find out what Umino Iruka thinks of Hatake Kakashi.

It was already late in the evening and the mission room was pretty much deserted save for Iruka and a couple of other chuunin helpers. Perfect thought Raido. He walked towards the mission desk where the younger man was still sitting alone, scribbling something on a sheet of paper.

'Good evening Iruka-sensei' chirped the jounin before wincing slightly. Did he just chirp? Stoic. He needed to appear stoic.

'Raido-san' said Iruka, looking up slightly startled. He shifted the papers in front of him about a bit before glancing at his watch. The chuunin sensei then said rather disapprovingly, 'It's late, I expected you in much earlier than this. Especially after yesterday.'

He then gave Raido a look that was intended to convey his deep disappointment in the jounin. The jounin in question peered back at the sensei and considered deeply for a moment before deciding that a 25-year-old ninja-sensei probably wouldn't quite appreciate having his cheek nuzzled by a relatively unfamiliar senior. Not at that very moment anyway. Instead, Raido attempted to smile innocently and said,

'Gomen Gomen, I wanted to make sure that there was nothing wrong or missing and I lost track of time.'

Gee. Raido didn't realize that Iruka had an 'a-three-year-old-blew-snot-in-my-pants-today-don't-fuck-with-me-or-I'll-break-your-dick-in-three' look. The scarred man coughed into his hand. Slight nerves were rapidly becoming full-blown hysteria. Fuck Genma! Wait, not for another...56 minutes.

'Ne, Iruka-sensei' Raido began, stepping forward. Unfortunately, before he could continue, Raido accidentally knocked into the table in his nervousness, jolting it slightly. The pen that Iruka had been writing with rolled off the desk and onto the floor. It then continued to spin under said desk. The young sensei exhaled sharply, his entire being emanating irritation as he bent to retrieve the offending pen. However, as he was getting up, Iruka mis-estimated the height of the table and banged his head hard on the underside, jolting the entire desk once again. The papers on the desk shifted about and suddenly, Raido saw it.

NO. NO FREAKING WAY.

Raido couldn't frigging believe it. Before the softly cussing Iruka could rise up and stop him, the jounin deftly snatched up a scribble covered sheet of paper which had originally been hidden under another sheet. Ninja-trained foresight immediately had him bolting away from the now hissing chuunin who had finally noticed what the scarred man had done.

'RAIDO-SAN!' Iruka all but screamed. The other chunnins in the room looked over curiously but they knew better than to approach an enraged Iruka-sensei. Instead, they moved further away as discretely as possible, not wanting to enter into the fray. Raido was after all a jounin. He could hold his own against a single chuunin, even if it was Iruka-sensei. Hmmm... they decided to move a tad bit more, across the room, out of the door.

'Raido-san! Give that back!' Iruka hissed once again. He attempted to snatch the slip of paper from the other man, but there was a reason, despite what Anko often blasphemed, why Raido was a jounin. Well to be fair, Iruka wasn't quite in the calmest frames of mind and as such, the older man easily evaded the panicked academy sensei. Raido then smirked before asking,

'Umino...' A dramatic pause as the scarred man raised a single dark brow. 'Kakashi?'

Iruka's own dark eyes shot open impossibly wide and he froze. Fuck.

'You really think Kakashi would take on your name?' continued the jounin chuckling now. He clucked his tongue, my oh my, Genma was going to go have a field day with this. Raido continued,

'I think the other choice you wrote, "Hatake Iruka" is more probable don't you?' The older man waved the slip of paper in the air taunting at the chuunin.

Iruka immediately grabbed the sheet of paper, mangling it beyond repair before hugging it against his chest protectively. He looked like a trapped animal. Bambi-like with his large doe eyes and flushed cheeks. Sexy.

'You even drew a little heart with a H.K luvs U.I. How...cliché.' sniggered the spikey haired man.

'Raido-san, please' whispered the chuunin, his dark eyes growing even more doe-like and pleading. The chuunin bit his trembling lower lip. The stern teacher persona had vanished, in its place was a vulnerable young man, hopelessly in love. Sexx-xxy.

Not even Raido was proof against THAT.

Groaning internally at his lecherous nature, he once again cussed his senbon-chewing partner as he gently led the upset and surprisingly unresisting chuunin to the sofa at the corner of the mission room. Once they were seated, Raido scratched the back of his head deciding not to tell the younger man about Kakashi's perverted Sharingan-ed staring game just yet. At least not until he had a chance to discuss it with Genma. Still, Raido was curious.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Do you have to?' sniffed Iruka forlornly. Sex...nevermind.

It was fortunate that Raido had been trained to harden his heart against sniffs of that nature. He made a mental note to thank Ibiki, although how the large man knew to include that particular training regiment still remained a mystery.

'Why Kakashi? Why not...' The spikey haired jounin thought for a moment, 'Why not Genma?' The long-haired jounin was the best looking, most lithe shinobi that Raido could think of. Not that he was biased of course.

'Gen...Genma?' questioned the chuunin in a questioning manner, he wrinkled his brow slightly. It would appear that the thought had never occurred to him.

'Yeah. Genma. He's pretty hot.' Raido stated. Damn straight. Plus when the long-haired jounin set his sights on blowing your mind, MAN, how he blew. Raido couldn't quite stop the happily satisfied sigh that emerged.

Iruka however, didn't quite seem to share Raido's opinion of the senbon-sucking jounin. His full lips twisted into a slight grimace and he crinkled his scarred nose. He was obviously trying to find a diplomatic way of telling the older jounin his opinion of Genma. But before Iruka could even open his mouth, Raido all but exploded and yelled,

'What's wrong with Genma?!' The little fuck! Iruka should be so lucky as to get his grubby little teacher-type-fingers on any Genma type ass.

Startled, Iruka's head swiveled around the room checking to see if anyone had remained as he attempted to placate the noticeably agitated older man.

'Shuuuuuush Raido-san. Please. People will hear!'

'Tell me what the hell is wrong with Genma.' the older man snarked threateningly, his dark eyes narrowed, intense, ready to strike.

'He's...there's nothing.....well, there's nothing wrong with Genma-san per say' Iruka trailed off, biting rather invitingly on his lower lip. 'He's quite attractive I guess...'

'You guess?' the other man grounded out, vicious now.

'If you go for THAT sort'

'WHAT sort exactly?'

'The cynical, seen it all, been there, done that, there's nothing that I've haven't fucked sort.'

Raido was miffed. No, he was more than miffed, he was peeved. No, more than that, he was...he was MEEVED. Plus he was certain that there were more than just a couple of things that Genma hadn't fucked, no matter what the man himself had claimed. There was no way in hell he was going to let this mere chuunin teacher, no matter how hot, defile his Genma's good name.

'Oh and Kakashi's all perky and excited all the time.' Raido made vague prancing motions with his hands. To be honest, it made him look kinda gay.

Iruka immediately smiled happily, his eyes sparkling as he spoke,

'Have you seen Kakashi-san when the latest Icha Icha Paradise comes in? He's like a cute little boy!' Raido was pretty sure he heard Iruka giggle as the chuunin held his clasped hands delightedly against his left cheek. The younger man was even humming a happy tune softly under his breath.

'He's a little perv who reads nothing but PORN! He's probably all excited about spending the entire night WITH HIS RIGHT HAND!' yelled Raido.

'Kakashi-san is left handed' huffed Iruka, snottily glaring at the other man.

Ohhh, another glare. Sexy.

Silence.

'What's so wonderful about Genma-san then?' asked Iruka when the other man failed to respond.

Raido decided that defending his partner's reputation was more important than being discrete. Hell, he was pretty sure Genma would use a blow-horn while standing on the nose of a stone carving of a Hokage and announce it to all and sundry if he didn't think a team of ANBU would decimate him on sight. The scarred jounin leaned in closer to the chuunin.

'Genma' Raido paused as he looked around him, ensuring no one was within eavesdropping distance. 'Genma can DO things'

'Do things? Like what?' questioned Iruka, not impressed.

'Stuff' replied the jounin, smug.

'What sort of stuff?' retorted the chuunin, suspicious.

Raido pulled Iruka even closer to him and whispered rapidly into the young sensei's ear. Iruka's eyes shot open and he reared back,

'HE CANNOT!'

'Can too'

'No way!'

'Way dude. So to-ta-lly waaaaay.'

'Really?' Iruka breathed, helplessly impressed.

'Yep'

'That's....he...he doesn't....sprain anything?'

'Nope. And sometimes he only uses one finger' Raido held up his middle finger, 'and doesn't even have to remove the senbon'

'Nooooooooooooo.' Disbelief.

'Yep'

'Wow...that....that must br nice.' There was a tinge of envy in Iruka's voice.

'Oh yeah' Raido sighed gustily from the memory. So did Iruka in fact, for similar if more imaginary-type reasons. He then wondered if Raido would mind letting the Sharingan-ed Copy Nin watch Genma the next time he did that...

There was a moment of respectful silence in commemoration of one Shiranui Genma's excellent abilities. Then the young sensei continued, for despite of Genma-san's surprising skills, Iruka wasn't quite willing to accede just yet.

'Kakashi-san tastes like vanilla. I bet Genma-san doesn't'

'Genma tastes better than....wait.' Raido stopped. 'How do you know what Kakashi tastes like?'

'I licked him.' Iruka quipped, all ingenious like.

Raido just stared at the ingenue-sensei quite speechless for a moment. The jounin then recovered enough to ask,

'Kakashi's spunk tastes like....vanilla?' Iruka was lucky Raido wasn't partial to vanilla, being a more savory-inclined sort of jounin. Otherwise, he would definitely have demanded a taste test as proof. He then made a note NOT to mention this to his bon-bon-loving bedmate.

'Eww. No.' The younger man looked aghast at the jounin's crudeness. Although...hmmm. He'll think about that later. When he was alone and had more...privacy. 'His skin!'

Raido waited. There wasn't a need to ask the obvious question.

'He was handing in his mission report and was pointing out a couple of words that were misspelled so I could understand what he wrote. Of course I had to bend closer to take a look....'

'And you just... licked him?' The older man broke in, incredulous.

'Not a lot. Only a little.' Iruka said defensively. He then demonstrated by lifting his hand to his mouth and quickly flicked a pink tongue out, licking himself.

'Do that again' Raido whispered, entranced.

'What?'

A beat.

'Er nevermind. So, er, did...er....Kakashi didn't notice?'

'Didn't seem like it. Although he did ask me if I was hot. He probably thought my sweat dripped on him.' Answered the young sensei.

'Really?' That was...odd. Raido was pretty sure dripping sweat and a lick were pretty different sensations. He had after all, been both licked and sweated on. He had even had his own sweat licked. Genma wasn't really a stickler for hygiene.

'Yep. Kakashi-san said "You're hot?" And,' Iruka paused to rub his finger across the scar on his nose, suddenly feeling a little shy, before continuing.

'I was quite relieved actually. It was a spur of the moment sort of lick. I didn't really plan it. Well, fine, I do think about licking him quite often, he's...he's very lickable don't you think? Kind of pale and silky looking.' Iruka smiled sweetly at the thought,

'But I've NEVER thought about licking his finger. I'd rather lick his....well, doesn't really matter what I'd rather lick, all I'm saying is that it was a....it was a....reflex! It was the only skin available at that moment! The rest of it was all covered up under that stupid glove that you jounins wear.' Iruka puffed out a breath of air.

'I wouldn't have known what to say if Kakashi-san had asked if I had just licked his index finger. I would probably have..... '

Raido blinked repeatedly as the chuunin went on with his somewhat incoherent chatter, trying to justify his supposedly unplanned lick. The young sensei was PRICELESS. Utterly and unbelievably fuckable in his wide-eyed naivety. How the chuunin who managed to fill so many a jounins' mind with terror and lust managed to be so damn pure while being so damn dirty was beyond Raido's comprehension. Genma was going to cum just from Raido describing this moment. But first...

'Eh, Iruka-sensei?' began the jounin.

'Hai?' The chuunin immediately stopped with his tirade, always the polite shinobi when he wasn't being made aggrieved by inconsiderate upper level jounin.

'Kakashi didn't ask if you were hot...'

'Yes he did.' The chuunin had tilted his head to the side as he gnawed on his lower lip, thinking back. 'After I licked him he asked, "You're hot?" And I said...'

Completely clueless. Genma was going to cum so frigging HARD.

'No he didn't.' The jounin was adamant.

'He DID, I tell you. You weren't even there, how would you know?' Iruka frowned at the older man. The nerve of jounin these days. He glared his 'I'm-a-prissy-oh-so-hot-sensei-how-dare-you-defy-me' glare. Sexy.

Raido blinked again, flushing slightly. The sound of Genma in bed last night moaning 'Sensei, sen-seeeeeeei, punish me, PUNISH meeeeee' assaulted his ears. The hotly bothered scarred jounin barely managed to croak out,

'He didn't ask if you were hot. He was telling you that you, were hot.'

'How would he know whether I was....' The chuunin paused suddenly. Raido could practically see the understanding burst in the young sensei's dark eyes as the chocolate-colored orbs widened. The younger man licked his slightly swollen-from-gnawing lower lip before sucking on it nervously, clearly replaying the moment in his head. Probably analyzing the nuances, cadences and inflexion of Kakashi's tone at that point in time. Sexy.

Genma was going to SCREAM when he came because Raido was planning on describing in graphic detail complete with live demonstration, every single little look, bite, lick and what not that had taken place in the course of this conversation.

Unfortunately for the two conversing men, the topic of their conversation had suddenly made an appearance at the mission room entrance. It was Hatake Kakashi in the flesh. Wait, Raido smirked as he corrected himself. It was Hatake Kakashi's licked-by-Umino-Iruka-hot-prissy-sexxxxy-sensei flesh. Iruka saw Kakashi enter at the same moment Raido did and immediately stood up, tanned face blushing a furious pink. Raido barely stopped a shudder from running through his body. It would figure that the chuunin who epitomized the baby-powder-pure and spank-me-dirty paradox would blush pink rather than red.

'Raido-san' whispered the younger man pleadingly.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to tell' replied the jounin. Yet. He thought to himself. Not till I tell Genma and we decide our next course of action. A shinobi was nothing if not deviously patient. And Raido and Genma were excellent shinobis. He got up, patted Iruka on the shoulder and pushed the younger man lightly towards the mission desk before making his way to the exit with the intention of finding the other dark-haired special jounin.

As Raido strolled past Kakashi raising his hand oh-so-innocently in greeting, he heard the silver-haired, evidently pale, apparently silky man snarl softly,

'I know you know.'

Raido froze.

'Tell your little friend that if you guys fuck with me, I'll shove one end of that senbon up his ass. And the other up yours.'

A pause.

'At the same time.'

Another pause.

'Hard.'

With that the Copy Nin smiled, expression returning to his trademark look of apathy as he thumped the other jounin agreeably on his back then casually made his way to the mission desk where the still fetchingly pink Iruka-sensei was waiting.

'Gomen gomen Iruka-sensei, I had to help Sasuke catch a squirrel that ran away with his hitai-ate...' Kakashi apologized, rubbing the back of his head shyly.

'It's....it's ok Kakashi-san...it's not that late....' Returned the young sensei just as shyly.

Fucker, so THAT'S why he got special treatment. Raido couldn't help the wicked grin that broke out on his face, unseen by the other two occupants of the room. Genma was right. Kakashi was positively scrumptious when riled. Vanilla eh? For this Raido was willing to try sweet. Oh, he was so looking forward to everything coming to a head. And also, well, getting head. The scarred jounin whistled as he sauntered out of the room. Just about 38 minutes to go...

O_o

To be continued even though I haven't the slightest idea how. It will probably involve caramel though...thanks happylittlekiwi!

Oh, please don't ask me if Kakashi is really left handed because I don't know but all the eccentric geniuses I do know are left handed :)

And for those curious minds, the squirrel in question looks uncannily like carcinya's icon on the kakairu LJ group. Go figure.

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