"I'm your RA," Raidou told the floor on the third night. "That's your Resident Assistant. I'm the closest thing to your mom."

The boys laughed, all forty of them, and Raidou smiled. It was so easy to make friends with freshmen. They were all scared of failing, even if they'd rather die than admit it, and a few easy jokes put them right in Raidou's pocket.

"If you have any problems, or just want to talk, come see me."

Raidou became the top of discussion for the boys for weeks, just like he knew he would. They smiled at him whenever he walked by, even if their eyes would stray to his left cheek. It had come to be expected, and their stares felt a bit like a taste of home.

He heard all the rumors about his scars. He also heard about the standing betting circle on how he got said scars. The circle was run by Genma, one of the boys living in room 704. Genma was loud, obnoxious, and loved by all the other boys. Every night, like clockwork, his door would open wide and light would spill out into the long hallway. Boys would be everywhere, on the beds, in the chairs, on the floor. They would laugh and shout, talking about girls and classes and sports, and in the middle of it all was Genma. If Raidou was the mother, enforcing the rules, then Genma was the older brother with whom the rules were broken.

Raidou sat in a few nights and watched them, especially Genma. Genma was a lot of what Raidou was not, and Raidou was fascinated. He never really talked to Genma, though. The boy was smart, he never got into trouble, and he never seemed eager to talk to Raidou. Indifferent hellos and casual goodbyes, and they were both content.

Three weeks before finals, there was a jumper.

It was Genma's roommate.

"Fuck it," Genma said, "he always had his shit on my side of the room." Five minutes later he was throwing up. Raidou asked him if he was going to be alright, if he wanted to spend the night in Raidou's spare bed.

"I'm fine," Genma said hotly. "I'm fine, I don't need your help."

He spent the night in his car.

After the suicide, Genma seemed to disappear. Raidou took to sitting outside Genma's door, waiting for the boy to return, but he never did. The boy was simply gone. The other freshmen stared at Genma's door whenever they walked past in the hallway, and a few of the more devout crossed themselves. Sometimes they'd crouch next to Raidou and ask where, exactly, Genma was. Raidou could never answer.

Raidou felt like he'd fucked up, and he wondered if everyone else felt that way, too. He was supposed to be a god-damned leader, it was his job. He looked after the freshmen, made sure they were dealing with life alright. He was supposed to make sure they got enough food, and that they didn't freak out too much about their first year of college, and that they didn't jump off the twenty-first floor of the business building before their nineteenth birthday.

He'd fucked up.

Somehow, it'd all slipped past him on his watch. He never noticed anything was wrong until it was too late, and it was his fault. He wanted to kill himself.

Genma reappeared nearly a week later. Raidou was walking down the hall, heading for the elevator to run to his next class, when Genma stepped onto the hall. Raidou froze and Genma silently brushed past him, completely ignoring the man. Raidou slowly turned and followed him. Genma unlocked his door, pushed it open, and barely hesitated before he stepped in.

The room was split straight down the middle, one side messy and full of scattered books and crumpled papers, piles of blankets on the unmade bed. The other side was bare, painfully white and clean. Genma sat on his bed, pointedly ignoring Raidou and the other side of the room. Raidou stepped into the room, closed the door quietly, and began to wait.

"I'm dropping out," Genma finally said. Raidou didn't say a word, just waited. "I'm heading home tomorrow morning, or maybe tonight, as soon as I pack. Just so you know." Genma grabbed a book off his desk, flipped through it for a moment, then tossed it across the room. The book hit the wall with a slap and fell to the ground. "He was fine," Genma said sharply, voice strained. "Just the day before, he was talking to his girlfriend. They were going to meet at the airport, she was going to drive him home. He was fine! He was fine, he was god-damn fine! He was happy, he laughed! He was always laughing at me!"

Genma was screaming now, facing away from Raidou. The cords in his neck stood out, taut against his skin, and Raidou stepped further into the room.

"Genma," he said carefully, "you need to talk to a counselor. I can't help you enough, and you need-"

"I'm fine." Genma's voice was now quiet, barely a whisper. He rolled his shoulders, popped his neck, then began fiddling with a pencil, clicking the lead further and further out. "I don't need help. I'm just tired."

"Come on, you can sleep in my room," Raidou said. He realized, with a start, he'd never used this kind of voice before. Now he sounded like his mother had after the fire. Sad, quiet, careful, hesitant. There was pity in his voice. "I have an extra bed, no roommate. Perk of being an RA."

"Yeah?" Genma snapped the pen lead in half once, then twice. He snapped it a third time, then dropped it over the side of his bed. "Fuck it, I don't care. Just a few hours? Then I need to head home."

Raidou nodded and opened the door, stepping out. After a few moments Genma followed him out the room, then up the hallway to Raidou's room. Raidou shoved open the door and stepped back, letting Genma walk in, then moved through the doorway.

"That bed," he pointed, "just shove the stuff onto the floor. It's just papers, nothing big." He pulled the books off the second bed, dropped them on the floor, then grabbed the papers. The blankets on the extra bed were pulled back and Genma lied down stiffly, tucking the blankets around himself. He rolled over, facing the wall, and Raidou left the room, closing the door quietly.

Raidou sat down in the hall, opposite his door, and began waiting. He called the Resident Director, dug through his backpack, reorganized his notes. Hours passed, slowly, and the boys trickled in from their classes, moving into their rooms, laughter quiet and strained. The light from the window at the end of the hallway faded and shadows began to creep out from the walls, and still Raidou waited, leaning back against wall, arms and legs folded and crossed. When the door finally opened he looked up, neck stiff and sore.

"You waited?" Genma's face was unreadable. He was standing in the doorway, hand still on the doorknob, and Raidou stood slowly, knees popping.

"We need to talk, Genma," Raidou said, and when Genma stepped back into the room Raidou followed, closing the door behind them. "Sit down on the bed," he said, pulling up a chair, positioning himself just lower than Genma.

"I talked to the RD," he began, "and it would be better if you stayed here for a few more days. At least until tomorrow, so you can leave during the day, if you want to go home. But you need to see a counselor."

"I don't, I don't need any help."

"You disappeared, Genma. We didn't know where you were, we couldn't find you. You need to talk to someone about this. He was your roommate and your friend. You need to talk about it. If you can't talk to a counselor, then we can find someone for you to talk to, but there has to be someone."

"I don't-" Genma stopped, swallowed, then began again, voice a shade too calm. "I'm fine. I just needed sleep, and now I'll go home."

"Genma."

Genma narrowed his eyes, frowning, and Raidou gave him a small smile.

"Genma, where were you?"

"Around," he said grudgingly. "I stayed in my car, mostly, and drove a lot."

"If you can't stay in your room," Raidou said gently, "then you should stay here, with me."

"Don't want another roommate," Genma said softly. "Always fuck up with them."

Raidou felt his heart stop, felt it die somewhere in his chest, and he closed his eyes. He was in over his head, he couldn't take care of this. Genma needed someone with all the right words, who knew what to say and when to say it. Raidou couldn't do this, just couldn't.

"Genma, this wasn't your fault. It?s more my fault than anyone?s, and it?s still not even mine. It was his choice, not ours. It?s not our fault.?

"Do you really believe that?" Genma asked bitingly. Raidou froze, caught.

"Yes," he lied. Genma looked at him with disgust and turned away, lying down on his side.

"I'm tired," he announced, voice cold. "I'm going to bed."

"Do you-" Raidou breathed in, breathed out, then stood, walking to his drawers. "Want to borrow some clothes? Or I could go get your clothes from your room-"

"Shut up," Genma growled. Raidou paused, drawer open, then pulled out a shirt and a pair of loose, soft pants. He tossed them onto Genma's bed and closed the drawer.

"Those should fit you." He left the room quietly, grabbing his backpack as he went, and shut the door on the boy. He leaned back against the door, sighed, then started down the hallway, digging into his backpack for his phone. He punched in the RD's number again, then began jogging towards the elevator.

Kousuke was an average man in an average life. He had dark hair that, at twenty-seven, was slowly receding and a tired mouth that spouted a wicked sense of humor. As a RD, he was perfect. He was waiting at his door when Raidou showed up, and let the RA into the room.

"He won't go to a counselor," Raidou said as a greeting, turning to face the closing door and Kousuke. "I asked him twice, and he won't go. He keeps-" Raidou paused, searching. "-avoiding it. He'll say he doesn't need help, then try to change the subject."

"Do you think he's a threat?" Kousuke asked as Raidou dropped his backpack to the floor. The younger man looked up, startled.

"What?"

"Is he a threat to himself or others?"

Raidou covered his face with his hand, groaning. "Yes. No. I don't know. God, I don't know. He seems alright, he really seems like he's going to be fine, but then he just- God, I don't know." He rubbed his face then shoved his hands in his pockets. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Kousuke was quiet for a long moment, looking intently at the backpack at Raidou's feet. "I think," he said slowly, "that you should talk to someone, too. Your residents don't need someone who's feeling guilty. You need to do your job, and if you need to see a counselor to work things out, then go." He looked up at Raidou. "Maybe Genma will go with you?"

"I don't-" Raidou cut himself off, face pinched, then gave a short, bitter laugh. "Now I know how Genma feels."

"But you'll go," Kousuke asked without really asking. Raidou gave a stiff nod and Kousuke smiled, stepping around him to point at a chair. "Sit down. I think we need to talk for a bit."

When Raidou stepped off the elevator he was exhausted, mentally and physically. He dragged himself down the hallway, giving a faint smile to the two boys sitting outside their doors, and pushed open his own door with a feeling of dread. Genma was sprawled out on the second bed, blankets twisted around him, and he groaned and shoved his head against the pillow when light spilled in from the hallway. Raidou kicked the door closed and pulled himself to his bed, dropping his backpack somewhere along the way. He collapsed on his bed, flinging out an arm to grab his alarm clock and pull it towards himself.

He fiddled with it for a moment, setting then unsetting the alarm clock, then let it drop onto a pile of clothes on the floor. He kicked off his shoes and stared at the dark ceiling. He'd get up in a minute and change clothes, in just a minute. Just a minute-

Raidou woke up to sunlight on his face, burning into his eyes. He growled under his breath and rolled over, shoving his face against the wall.

"Raidou?"

He rolled back onto his back, turning his head to look at the second bed. Genma was sitting against the wall, book in hand, and he looked exhausted. He gave Raidou a strange look, then closed the book, setting it to the side.

"You're going to miss all your classes," Genma pointed out. Raidou rolled over a bit more, hanging off his bed to grab at his alarm clock. He looked at it thoughtfully, then let it drop again.

"Fuck classes. It's no-test week anyway." He turned his attention back to the boy, looking him over carefully. "You look tired."

An angry look twisted across Genma's face and his hands tightened in his lap, fingers pulling at the pants Raidou had lent. "I couldn't sleep," he said shortly. Raidou blinked, then slowly sat up, rubbing at his face.

"I'm going to the counselors'," he said abruptly, scratching at his hair. He pulled at it and yawned, jaw popping. "Want to come with me?"

"I don't need-" Genma began, but he stopped, a calculating look on his face. "Why are you going?"

Raidou almost smiled, dropping his head into his hands tiredly. "Because I can't sleep at night, and I feel all fucked up." He shifted, hanging his feet off the bed, and slid off slowly.

"When?"

Raidou paused in kicked off his slept-in jean, a crease between his eyebrows, then shrugged. "Twenty minutes or so. After I get dressed. I'll probably stop by the center for breakfast, if you want something."

Genma raised an eyebrow at the bribe then grinned, showing too many teeth. Raidou smiled back, thin-lipped, and pulled on a pair of pants before he tugged off his shirt.

"What happened?" Genma asked suddenly, pointing at Raidou's body. Raidou looked down, curious, then looked up again, smile thinner.

"Fire," he said shortly, grabbing a shirt from a chair. He pulled it over his head, then over his shoulders, back burning from Genma's eyes. He swallowed, feeling dizzy, and tugged the shirt down as far as it would go. "I'm going to the counselors'," he repeated.

Genma stood up from the bed and began stripping methodically, pulling on his clothes from the day before, and Raidou began searching for his shoes. A tense silence filled the room, unbroken by the rustling of clothes.

"Are you coming?" Raidou blurted out, feeling like his head was going to burst from the silence. Genma looked at him quietly, buttoning his pants, then shrugged.

"No classes or anything, I might as well."

Raidou tried to smile, failed miserably, and grabbed his backpack, pulling books out. "Do you want to stop by your room before?" he asked carefully. He glanced up when Genma shook his head, then looked down again. "Then let's go." He swung his backpack on and grabbed his keys.

The walk to the quad was long, step after step, and Raidou went along slowly, lazily. Genma walked next to him, just as slow, and spoke rapidly about everything. He talked about a girl in his anthropology class, about a car that he'd seen, about, briefly, home. When they walked past the business building Genma fell silent, moving to the other side of Raidou, putting the RA between him and the building. They skirted the patch of sidewalk stained a faint red, the color of rust, and Raidou looked over at Genma.

Genma looked back and, for a moment, smiled.

They were going to be alright.

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