He was happy that Hinata had friends over, he really was. It was good that she had friends to ask over, and Shino and Kiba were--well, *Shino* was pleasant to be around.

He liked Shino well enough, and he was glad the two men were together. (He'd learned that little tidbit after he'd walked into the kitchen and found them . . . 'kissing' didn't really describe it. He'd choked on his tea so badly that Kiba had pounded on his back for nearly three minutes, and for several moments Neji was afraid--and vaguely humiliated--that they may actually have to call a medic.)

He really was glad for them, and he really was happy that Hinata enjoyed having them over, though every time he saw them he got a queer weak feeling in his stomach (despite the fact that they didn't seem to do anything in public that they hadn't before).

So, given his vague discomfort, when Kiba and Shino came over Neji found it easiest just to lose himself in his rooms. Not that he didn't like them coming by. He even had dinner with them, when they stayed that long. And he'd offered to let them use his Shougi board that once, when Shino had said something about games.

But, really, did they have to use *his* bathroom? His own personal bathroom that no one else went into, where he kept all his own personal things?

Now if there was hair in there he'd end up wondering who it came off of, and *where* it had come off of. And his bathroom might even *smell.* He hated it when his bathroom smelled. He hated it when anything smelled, truthfully, and he was always hyper-aware of the way men smelled, as if they were all animals and he was just checking to find out who was dominant. It was disturbing, and made him feel low-born and unworthy.

And now one of them was using *his* bathroom.

Maybe he had just closed the door the last time he'd left without realizing it. Or maybe one of the servants had closed it after they'd cleaned.

He stepped quietly up to the door, listening. He wasn't about to try and use the Byakugan. Gods knew he didn't want an eyeful of one of them urinating.

So he stepped quietly to the door and listened, and hopefully there wouldn't be noise, and no one would be in there--

"Oh, gods," someone whispered.

Neji jumped and stared at the wood. Was that--? No. It couldn't be.

A quiet groan came through the door.

Neji stared in horror. Someone was *masturbating* in *his* bathroom. Either Shino or Kiba--and he couldn't really imagine Shino--so *Kiba* was--was--Neji couldn't even think the words.

He couldn't think--and there were still little noises coming from the bathroom, little breathless gasps and soft moans. Neji's skin prickled. His toes curled.

He stepped away and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, as if that might erase everything. He should leave. Now.

He nearly yelped when he realized he could still hear them. He hadn't been able to hear those noises at this distance before, but now that he knew what to listen for--

*Gods.* Kiba was panting. There was a thump, and Neji jumped, mouth dry. He swallowed. Then swallowed again.

He had to leave. But he needed to stop that. Stop someone from--from---doing *that* in *his* bathroom. But how was he supposed to stop it without letting Kiba know he was here? He should just leave.

"Shino, *there.*"

"Like this?"

A whimper was the only response.

Neji stared at the door. Two of them? They were BOTH in his bathroom? Doing--Oh, gods. He knew exactly what they were doing, and he really, really wished he didn't.

He had to leave. Now. Before they came out and found him gaping at the bathroom door.

With more will than he'd had to use in any of his exams, ever, he started walking quickly back down the hall.

Wait. If he went this way, he'd end up in the main rooms and then when they came out he'd have to walk right past them.

Neji whipped around, steeling himself to march past the bathroom without stopping.

The door opened. Kiba stepped out looking--well, well-laid.

Kiba grinned. "Hi, Neji," he said, running fingers through ruffled hair.

Ruffled hair. *Ruffled* hair. Neji tried to convince himself that Kiba's hair was always mussed, and it wasn't because Shino had--

His brain gleefully went where he really, really didn't want it to go.

"Kiba, what--" Shino stopped in the doorway, just behind the other man. Under a high collar and dark glasses, his face was inscrutable.

Neji wished he had a high collar and dark glasses. Instead, he had the distinct feeling that his overly fair skin was beginning to sport a very dark blush.

They'd come out of there awfully fast. He felt his eyes start to drop, and yanked them back up to the safety of Shino's face. Er, glasses.

He was NOT going to look down. Surely they were, ah, clean. And done up. And not still slightly stiff, because erections didn't just vanish right away, it took a few minutes for the blood to start back up the body--

They'd just been SCREWING in his BATHROOM!

Neji found his eyes drifting down again, and closed them quickly, only to open them when Kiba spoke.

"What are you doing here?" Kiba asked cheerfully.

Neji stared at him. The man wasn't even *embarrassed.* "These are my rooms," he choked out.

They'd had sex in his bathroom! his mind gleefully supplied.

"Oh." Kiba looked around into the bathroom. "So that's your . . .?"

"Bathroom," Neji said.

One of them had been *panting.* His face turned even more red. Had they leaned against the sink? Or the wall? Gods, he was going to have to have everything *sterilized.* Then an utterly horrifying thought occurred to him. What if there were *fluids?*

"It's nice," Kiba said.

Manners hijacked Neji's brain. "Thank you." They had just had sex in his bathroom! some tiny, hysterical voice giggled madly. There was probably semen in there somewhere--

AGH! Now he was going to have to wonder where *every* substance came from! He was definitely having the damn room sterilized. There was no way around it.

Would that *get* everything? Sure, it would get rid of germs, but what if they missed a corner? Or a hair! And how had the men cleaned up? Was there semen-smeared tissue paper in the trashcan? Or had they flushed it down the toilet? He was going to have to get a new trashcan, just in case. What if dirty tissues had *touched* the sides?

Maybe he should move to another wing of the mansion.

"Kiba, we should head into the living room," Shino said in his bone-vibrating voice.

Head! Neji's mind giggled. Shino had said 'head'! Which, of course, only made Neji's eyes try once more to swoop down to crotch level.

NO! No nonononononono! Don't think about it don'tthinkaboutit don'tthinkaboutit don'tthinkaboutit.

"Right!" Kiba said. "Neji, we'll see you later." He grinned widely as if nothing was amiss and slapped Neji's shoulder, squeezing by.

Neji practically flung himself back against the wall, out of the way. Where had Kiba's hands BEEN?

He didn't want to know hedidn'twanttoknow! And Kiba's body was practically *touching* him--

He looked down.

AGH! He'd looked down! He closed his eyes quickly, before he actually *saw* anything.

Kiba laughed. "You okay, Neji?"

He kept his eyes closed. "Fine. I'm fine." He could practically feel Kiba. Kiba, who had just had *sex* in *his* bathroom. Hand jobs? Oral sex? *Anal* sex? His eyes snapped open. Was Kiba walking funny?

Don'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlook! He closed his eyes again, lids tight.

Oh, gods. Now he could smell sex, too.

Then Kiba was past, and Neji opened his eyes.

Shino was looking at him.

He wished he had Shino's covering clothing. Or Kiba's completely relaxed attitude about the whole thing. Anything other than standing in the hall looking at his reflection--bright pink--in Shino's sunglasses. He looked like he'd just swallowed a bug

Which made him think of Kiba and Shino and oral--

AGH! STOP! Please, please, just STOP!

"I'm sorry, Neji," Shino said quietly. "We didn't know that was your bathroom. We won't do that again."

Neji watched Shino pass by. He swallowed, glancing in the bathroom, thinking about what had--no, don't think about that, because that queer feeling in his stomach was stronger, and his skin was prickling, and he was starting to sweat.

"Thanks," Neji said to Shino's back.

Then he fled.

--End

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