tv and radio transcripts

from WAP! on Leno transcribed by palomina

(This is after Rick and Alex hung Cassie upside down for making a really funny joke.)

J: So, um, I have a question. All through this interview, and, really, on other interviews I’ve seen of you, you guys seem to be hitting each other constantly.
(Repressed sexual tension!!! Hehe, sorry.)
J: (to audience) We had kicking. We had pushing. (he counts on his fingers and the crowd cheers like they always do when he talks to them.) We had pinching, we had Cassie biting Alex’s nose…
Cassie: I was going for his ear.
J: (to audience) Do we believe her? (crowd laughs) We also had quite a few heads getting thumped…
Rick: (to audience) What are you cheering at? (to J) I’m really kind of scared now. They were totally right about American TV being all about the violence. J: (laughs) So you’re saying you aren’t all about the violence.
Cassie: It’s actually occurred to me before that if people get tired of us singing at some point, we can double our ticket sales by having Izzy and Alex mud wrestle on stage.
Alex: (rolling his eyes) Or having Cassie and Jana do it, since guys mud wrestling as a sport has never caught on in the last two hundred years.
(Izzy looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t. I say for him, “depends who you talk to!!!”)
Cassie: Sweetheart, our fan base is 64% female. I’m betting more than a half of all our fans couldn’t care less what I wear as long as Izzy keeps taking his shirt off during Up With This.
Rick: (to audience) You have nothing to worry about. We’ve tried to stop him, it doesn’t work.
Jana: (in human form for once – really cute although I love the kitty one!!!) I’m too young to be a sex symbol. (she smirks.)
Alex: 58% of our fan base disagree on the last poll, Jan.
J: I thought you said 36% of your fan base is male.
Alex: No, guys like her too. (audience cheers)
J: (smirking) I’m sure they do. So, back to the hitting… Do you think you’re sending out a bad message? Has any of you ever ended up hurting each other?
Izzy: (leering) Never out of bed. (crowd goes crazy. I do too.)
Alex: Yeah. Izzy has really weird dreams.
Rick: (to J) He does. You’ll go to sleep and suddenly you’ll wake up at two AM and he’s in your bed, and you’ll go, ‘Iz, this is me. I’m not Britney.’ And he’ll be like, ‘I had a dream that Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass were fighting over me and they ruined the MTV awards.’ And you’ll be like, (mocking tone) ‘Oh. Are you scared?’ And he’ll be like, ‘Um. No.’
Cassie: That’s funny. That’s never happened to me. (Cassie has a REALLY WEIRD FACE here. I can’t tell if she’s trying not to laugh or smirking or what.)