Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
WAP! interviews

magazines and newspapers

june 1st interview

The group members are, on most interviews, quite unflappable. They tend to give you the impression of not only feeding off each other, but also not being at all concerned about following the various outrageous (to this interviewer's eyes) directions other members decide to go in, as though they have talked it over beforehand (not very likely when it's Natalie Hurtley, 15, from New York, asking 'if you were stuck in a musical, what would you do?'. One also assumes that if they *had* somehow discussed it beforehand, the answer wouldn't include nakedness, or armadillos.) One question, though, and one that it's quite surprising no one had asked before, causes quite a stir.

Q: So what does WAP actually stand for?

Rick: Weird Ass Pop Group. (The band members groan. Alex leans over to hit him; Rick laughs, continues.) No, actually, it's White Also Pale. Which is admittedly kind of a weird name all by itself.
Izzy: What?
Rick: (not paying attention): It symbolizes our total lack of coolness factor. We chose it after Lin decided she didn't want to join us. She was our last hope. Obviously Pale Also Green would have fit better, but WAG! sounds so much less snappy.
Izzy: Ricky, what are you talking about?
Rick: (turning to look at him): WAP! (turning back to the interviewer) I can't actually remember what the exclamation point's doing there. It's probably the record company's fault. I felt very relieved when people started to leave it out.
Izzy: The exclamation point was your idea, and that's not even close to what WAP stands for.
Cassie: He's right, you dork. (Jana and Alex are nodding. Rick looks confused.)
Izzy: (to interviwer): Worthless And Profound. What I like to call our deep period, before we started writing any songs. (Cassie kicks him. The level of violence in this interview is frankly astounding.) Sorry, sweetheart. (Cassie rolls her eyes. Izzy, to interviewer) Yeah, we'd lie around my apartment all day and talk about how we were going to be pop yet alternative yet Sending Out Messages, though I don't think I was ever very clear on what those messages were. The only thing left from those days is Rick's weirdass drumming and unpaid pizza bills.

Q: Does Rick drum? The only people credited for it on your albums are Kay Whinder and, uh, St. John Allerdyce.

Cassie: It's a subliminal message thing. We try to keep it secret.
Alex: Also, he's pretty bad.
Jana: (changing back from the form she's been in through the interview so far, her signature kitten; Alex, who's been petting her in his lap, helps her into her own chair without so much as blinking.) Also, that's not any more true than Rick's story. Have you guys been taking something without telling me?
Izzy: (wide innocent eyes. This interviewer certainly believes whatever he has to say.) Jana! Would we do that?
Rick: What Izzy means to say is, Jana, would Rick do that?
Jana: Well, anyway. Whining about pictures.
(silence. Everybody waits. Jana nods and turns into a hamster, apparently intent on going to sleep on Izzy's shoulder.)

Q: I'm sorry?

Jana: (wakes up at a poke from Izzy, changes back, this time fortunately climbing off his shoulder first): What WAP stands for. Whining About Pictures. We spent three months changing names before the PR started. The producers wanted to kill us. Then we decided to stay mysteriously anonymous for the first few weeks until inspiration came. Inspiration didn't come. The make up girl in our third photo shoot decided on Whining About Pictures and the company gave her a promotion and changed it to WAP.
(silence. Jana waits. When nobody speaks, she changes back into a hamster.)
Cassie: I don't remember that.
Izzy: (dubious) I remember the whining.
Cassie: Jana used to be our sane member.
Jana: (changes back briefly, a rather mind boggling sight) I'm still the sane member.
Cassie (to interviewer): Wool Aliens Pack. We didn't actually have a weird story to go with it, it was just that all the bands around seemed to have these weird names that nobody could understand.

Q: Wool Aliens Pack?

Cassie: Yeah. Well, actually, it was when Izzy started getting the solos. He was a Wool Alien, don't ask me why, and so we were the Wool Aliens Pack.
(Izzy pinches Cassie on the arm.)
Cassie: Didn't your mom teach you not to hit girls, Isobel?
Rick: So on the bad side you just completely made up a story, but on the good side, you managed to show that Izzy really is king of the world.

Q: So it's almost a taboo subject right now, but--

Cassie, interrupting: But we already told you, those pictures are totally not real...
Rick: Which pictures?
Cassie: The ones from that tabloid that had the wine bottle and the--
Alex: No, no, they're definitely not real. I could do better photo manipulations with my laptop. I'll show you in the Green Room if
Izzy, turning politely back to interviewer: So what did you mean, really?

Q: I was going to ask about the mutant rallies in London, Washington DC, and elsewhere. You were doing a show in London the night of the rally, right?

Cassie: We were. They had extra security, but it didn't change our night any. We always have security. I hate to think what the fans had to go through.
Izzy, leaning back: I hate that stuff.

Q: Hate?

Rick: He means he hates how angry people get.
Alex: I just remembered what WAP! really stands for.
Rick: You freak, we have a hundred --
Alex: It's because George Michael's band was Wham. but we can't manage as powerful a sound as them. Wham! so we're just WAP!.
Cassie, shaking her head: You're psycho.

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