Sometimes IMDB synopses kill me. For example:
Violent Blue — “Katarina is a music teacher obsessed with an unfinished symphony. She worries about her brother, Ondrej an introverted inventor whose financiers are reputedly shady and dangerous. Then one day, her ex-husband Pietro shows up in her house and locks her in a cage.”
Bonus points if it’s a SciFi (now Syfy) channel production. You can always tell:
Piranhaconda — “Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer!”
(Sidenote: To this day, nobody can give a good reason as to why Syfy decided to respell its name. It’s as if it thought it had to test the devotion of sci-fi/fantasy fans. The devotion of sci-fi/fantasy fans.)
At any rate, you can tell it has given up by this point and resorted to combining random nouns in order to come up with plotpoints. See Arachnoquake.
I have to say, though, Sharktopus did produce one of my favourite TV Guide reviews:
“If you’re only going to watch one film about a shark-octopus hybrid that roars, walks on land and leaves a body count in its wake, then make it this one.”
That, my friends, is a line indeed.
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