snippets

Conversation snippet: Claws

“Let me see your bow.”

“You don’t like my bow?”

“See, your hands, when you bow, they become like claws. . . I don’t mean to make you self-conscious.”

“Too late!”

Conversation snippet: Ice-walking

“I hate walking on ice. Did I mention I hate walking on ice?”

“Hmm. . . once or twice.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I could mention it again.”

It's not how you say it but how you say it

A page in the Anthropologie catalogue reads:

IN HIS BAG:
a pick
two hammers
a compass
broken shells
several maps
binoculars
a handful of sand
one flashlight
(no batteries)
a glove
In The Maine Woods
graph paper
a notepad
many pencils
one good pen

I know they’re trying to make it sound all dreamy and poetic, but the first thought that came into my mind was: “Oh gawd, she’s going to die.”

Conversation snippet: Ibuprofen

“Guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m taking ibuprofen. Isn’t that great?”

“Uhhhh, that’s. . . nice?”

“Are you sure you’re not on some other drug, dear. . .?”

Conversation snippet: Study

“You’re not studying, are you?”

“No, I’m just. . . looking at the words.”

“Oh suuuuure.”

“No, really. The words are very pretty.”