Welcome to Things the X-MEN Will Never Say 3! This is the list of the
stuff that they either won't say, or just doesn't make it into the comics! Prof. X: "I can recite the whole theme song to "Jonny Quest"!" *** Beast: "Has anyone seen my hairdye?" *** Jubilee: "I'm never going back to the mall!" *** Monet: "WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" *** Cyclops: "I need a break." *** Apocalypse: "Hello? Anger Management Counseling?" *** Sinister: "I'm just a sweet transvestite!" *** Rogue: "Let's sit down and discuss this like adults, Remy." ***
X-MAN: "Hmm. Maybe I should have thought about this first." (Insert
scene of pointless psionic hysterics and general carnage of your choice
here.) *** Emma Frost: "You girls shouldn't dress so immodestly." *** Wolverine: "Violence never solved anything." *** Cyclops: "Peaceful coexistence? The professor must've been drunk when
he thought that one up!" *** Wolverine: "Sabretooth, I gotta say, you look mighty fine in that outfit.
Yup, mighty fine." *** Jubilee: "I hate yellow raincoats." *** Monet: "Leech is sooooooo handsome!" *** Quicksilver: "Jeez Luna, can't you just slow down for once?!" *** Beast: "Omigawd! Like, totally!" *** Jean (in Pyslocke-like uniform): "Like my new outfit? This way, I
don't have to worry about the bad guys fighting back. They'll be so busy
drooling I can beat them up at my pleasure!" *** Gambit: "Scotty, I got news. I just found out that I'm your other long lost
brot'er, Duncan, and our mot'er ain't really human, but Skrull." *** Bishop: "Eek! I got tomato sauce on my outfit! Do you know how hard it
is to find a good, spandex outfit these days? Even the most oddball stores in
N.Y. look at you funny when you ask for a skin tight, specially modified
costume. Sigh. Now what am I supposed to wear for the Apocalypse fight
this afternoon?!" *** Shadowcat: "So help me, Wisdom, if you touch me one more time . . ." *** Gambit: "It's Bucky! Bucky's alive!!!"* *** Prof. X : "I'm a little tea pot, short and stout!" *** Scott: "We need to reform this team. I think X-Force is a good model." *** Wolverine: "Jeanie! Have you seen the diarrhea medicine?" *** Jubilee: "ACK! Emma! Put the cat out before I step on another hairball!
I mean, it's sick! I'm walking along and suddenly, {squish} I have
something gross stuck to the bottom of my foot! Wet and slimy and gross . .
. I'm going to skin that cat the next time I see it, we'll get Gambit to fix
Cajun Cat & Fish soup." *** Cyclops: "I'm sorry." *** Storm: "Jean! Make gambit stop picking his toenails at the dinner table!"
*** (The true story of why Jean Grey didn't have/use her codename.) Jean:
"I had a codename. It was Bounce. The Prof. gave it to me. Do you know
how hard it is to walk down the streets of this city with a name like
"Bounce"?! I feel like a fabric softener! And men are such leeches about
it! "hey baby, wanna fluff my suit?" I mean, come on! Let's get real here!
And meeting a nice man is impossible! Someone introduced me to Batman.
I told him my codename and he laughed. Same thing happened with the
Flash. And Superman! Ugh, I don't even want to think about that! . . ." ***
*As in Captain America's Bucky
Back - - - - -
(Reuben's)
(Thanx Reuben!)
(Reuben's quote)
(Danke, Reuben!)
(This is from Duncan Hay!)
(Another Duncan Hay.)
(Thanx, D.H.!)
(Danke, D.H.!)
(Wish I could claim this one, but I can't. D.H. did it!)
(One more D.H.'s!)
(Courtesy of Duncan Hay, self proclaimed Grumpy Old Man on the list!
:D)
Jubilee: "I'm not."
Cyclops: "What was that??"
Jubilee: (Rolling around on the floor pretending she has her finger in her
nose) "I SAID I'VE GOT A PIECE OF SNOT! AND IT'S REALLY BIG!"
(Gleefully stolen from Lisa Marie Hunt's play, "Seeking Therapy."
Thanks Lisa! Lisa's my sister's friend.)
Gambit: "I ain't gonna stop picking my toenails unless Stormy stops
talking about how they make ground sausage out of rats!"
Back to the living room