Cntact the Neon Nurse at the House of Unruly Fish and tell her what a great job she's doing!

Hi all!

For those of you who find writing disclaimers tedious, here's a little help:

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DISCLAIMER: This story does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either

myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't

quote me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this story

freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change

without notice; illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any

resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely

coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash

only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your

mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this

story is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat

emptor; story is provided as is without any warranties; reader assumes full

responsibility; an equal opportunity story; no shoes, no shirt, no story;

quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered,

do not attempt to edit them yourself, but return to an authorized service

center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text

may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable,

parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets

and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase

necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required;

batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold

separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may

be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety

seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from

use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or

swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation;

avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from

open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do

not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not

place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this story could be

hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is

the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if

ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a

physician; stories are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for

early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher

west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to

read; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood,

tornado, tsunami, volcanic

eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage

from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized

reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial

numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom

vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and

incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water,

motor vehicle crashing, dropping the story, falling rocks, leaky roof,

broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include,

but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers,

napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays,

knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply.

***

Forwarded by Susan (the Neon Nurse)

++++++++++++++++++carosue@iguana.ruralnet.net++++++++++++++++++

Courtesy*Integrity*Perseverance*Self Control*Indomitable Spirit

"Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the

heroic makes heroes." --Benjamin Disraeli

Back to the living room

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