Subreality Times
It. Is. Aliiiiiiive. Muahahahaha. Haha. Ha. Heeee.
Lookee here. You are reading. The 3rd issue. Bravo! And THEY said
that TV destroyed our
attention spans. What lies! Completely and
utterly untrue! Video games did their part...
Anyway since you are sufficiently bored to read this let's get to
the heart of the matter... From
now on each issue is $5US. The policy is retroactive - pay up.
Hah! Suckers! I'm just kidding. Heh. Jeez, you people are easy.
All right, moving on...
The Bullet:
All right, all right, we have no fesking idea where he is. Any
hints or wild and improbable
theories are welcome. Come on! I got a paper to run! I need
unhealthy sensations!
Oh come oooon! National Enquirer has Roseanne, Matthew
McConaughey and Dennis
Rodman to work with. And me? Hah?! None of you people has the
decency to get caught
playing bongos without a stitch of clothing on.
Pheh. Pox on you... Egotists all.
All right. On to the fun stuff. Several days ago it's been a
pleasure and privilege of several
Writers to witness an epic battle. The fight which put Stalingrad,
Gettysburg and Hiroshima to
shame. The Fight!
When Frito_M came to blows with IRC Subcafe's li'l guardian bot,
NudgeNudg. It was...
something. For 15 minutes straight, the bot persisted in deopping
one of the residents and the
each time Frito fearlessly opped the resident back. The tempers
run high. The war cries were
loud. The popcorn was cheap. Now... some might say that this is
not very serious piece of
news. So? This is not a serious paper. I liked watching it. This
publication is now in talks with
SCTV to set up a second, Pay-Per-View, match. Contestants have not
been consulted yet.
Current Affairs:
Metropolitan news:
Also I'd be derelict in my duties if I failed to mention that two
of the most prominent citizens in
SCML had a birthday recently. Besides
it's too good an opportunity to miss. Let the torture that is
public affection be unleashed on
Farli and Rossi. Muahahaha! Ha!
Moving on. Somber news. Another two renowned residents announced
that they will distance
themselves from certain aspects of City life.
Seraph stated that she had come to a decision to stop taking
action in the open RRs beyond
the ones she's currently involved in. She also resigned as the
Security Chief of THOSD.
Jesse Willey also posted a statement on one of the Message Boards
announcing his decision
to slowly decelerate his involvement in RRS toward, perhaps, a
complete withdrawal.
Other News:
Business:
Weather report:
Bahbachu... (I know, I know - I just like how it sounds)
Back to the living room
Issue #3
Monday 15th, May, 2000
A somewhat eventful week I must say. The Eco-Challenge juggernaut
has lost a portion of its
steam and settled down to a measured pace. On the neighboring set,
The Requiem RR that
had started as a lighthearted wrap-up to Fallen RR has stealthy
and steadily mutated into
something decidedly different. Check it out, besides sacrifices of
lambs and angels, smiting
people left and right, this RR has also provided a platform of
some major changes in THOSD...
Speaking of; Dex who (according to unsubstantiated rumors) left
the House to wander
Subreality has not been heard from. Although rumors abound this
publication will not print any
unproven gossip!
There is some talk among animal rights activists to stage a
protest against inhuman treatment
of Chocobos by the Eco-Challenged. Oh yeah, Chocobos AND Phil
Foster.
For the SCML citizens. Yes. Yes. As I am sure some of you heard a
major portion of the
South Quarter is in shambles. Well what can we say... Another
Angst Monster got away.
Whoop-dee-Doo. Several Writers are implicated but Yasmin M is
identified as the ringleader.
To get
more details read her fic, "Shengri Liwu."
The Casino Royale's lawsuit against Eco-Challenge has been
dropped. Neither side consented
to comment so feel free to speculate wildly.
Start... NOW!
The fictives' strike is over, the details of the debate are not
known as the negotiations were
carried out behind closed doors... They even put dogs there.
Dobermans. Do you know how
painful it is to get bitten by a Doberman?!
It's still dark and stormy. I told you - two weeks!