Subreality Times
Well, what do you know? We have a paper here. All right, since the
untimely demise of the
previous Subreal publication - "Subreality Tattler," the field of
journalism has been shamefully
neglected. But never fear, for I is here and thou shall suffer in
ignorance no more.
This is a first issue of what promises to be a popular and
profitable enterprise... Shuddup and
leave me happy with my illusions all right?
Now to the point. The news.
The Bullet:
Firstly and most importantly CFAN has been updated. Let us give
thanks...
Even more importantly - those strange shrieks and howls that awoke
your neighbors are NOT
the sounds heralding the invasion by Pokemon fanfiction.
Also today has been declared an "Archivist Day." Tee-shirts, hats
and various merchandise
can be obtained at any establishment associated with Subreality
Cafe franchise. However be
warned, that overabundance of the line "Have You Kissed Your
Archivist Today?" has already
caused one incident of... unpleasantness.
Search for Sabertooth continues, the Writer is reported to be in
stable condition.
Hmmm... what else, what else... AHA! You'll be happy to know that
message boards are safe
to visit again. The unnatural peace and calm reigning over Duke
Out Board came to an end
and the natural order is therefore restored.
The world will not end tomorrow. Maybe on Monday...
Natural Disaster Warning:
Hmm... let me see if I can phrase it without crossing the boundary
of good taste... Prospects
do not look good, but here we go. It has come to the attention of
this paper,through reliable
sources that sizeable portion of the House's better half is... not
feeling so fresh these days.
We are aware that the hint is vague. We also want to live to write
the second issue. Deal with
it.
Current Affairs:
While we are at it let us also say a short prayer for the untimely
demise of "Form of Things To
Come," "Getting Medieval on Your Café," "Upstarts" and both
Christmas Party RRs. Yes...
the road to glory is littered with casualties. Oh well, moving
right along.
On a brighter note, "The Road Trip" seems to have gotten a second
breath, there is also a
high hope of recovery for "Writing The Round Robin." Let us
pray...
Metropolitan news:
For the SCML citizens. The rumors are true. There is a large
outbreak of withdrawal pains
among your neighbors and friends. However allegations that
D^Knight spiked his feedback with
honest appraisal and tactful criticism can neither be confirmed
nor denied at this point. We
also have no information when the supply will resume again.
To those numerous individuals who complained about sudden
inflation in prices. Deal, people!
The City is suddenly full. Apparently it has something to do with
some dinky little race or
survival course or something... We are not sure, but nothing will
probably come of it.
It has come to our attention that there is a memo being circulated
around, apparently called
"Subreality Manifesto." SCPD is offering a substantial reward to
those who will offer
information leading to location and apprehension of the said
document.
Business:
Sports News:
So far following teams have been announced:
"Jailbait" - members are Azzy, Lynxie, Sparks, Junkmail.
"Cleavage" - members are Kielle a.k.a. The Scribe, Mice, Trisha
Lynn, Ashlan, Coyote Girl.
"Reboot" - members are Chandri, D^Knight, Lise, Robin Darking.
"Tim Tam" - members are Rossi, Seraph, Doc Persona, Rowan.
"Mallard" - members are Jesse Willey, Speedy_Paul, Maria Cline.
On an unrelated note, the stocks are up today. The sharp drop in
the real estate values was
more the compensated by the jump of the funeral and the coffin
producing enterprises.
Medical, insurance and pharmaceutical businesses have also
experienced a sudden boost.
The Casino Royale is offering following odds on the result of the
race:
To finish first:
To finish at all:
Side-bets like:
"Tim Tam" to suddenly join forces with Dark Side and try to take
over the world - 4:5,
To make these and similar bets see Guido at Casino Royale.
Weather report:
Back to the living room
Issue #1
Saturday 29th, March, 2000
It's simply the result of a new Say What.
Danger, men of THOSD!
Danger! If you are smart you will find pressing business away from
the House this week. Why,
you ask?
Now, for the current affairs. The production of the highly
publicized "Springtime" RR has
grounded to a firm stop and is showing no discernable signs of
being resurrected, despite the
recent attempt as resuscitation.
A new gambling establishment has been opened in the Subreality
City. Called "Casino
Royale." It apparently is under investigation by the Bureau for
the incorrect application for
license. Check it out, the shrimp is to die for.
More about that race thing. It is called Eco-Challenge. Several
teams will compete with each
other and the devious minds of Epona Harper and Shai PeriHawk to
reach the finish line
"Drunk" - members are Abyss, Duann Cowart, Dex and Phil Foster.
"Drunk" 5:6,
"Tim Tam" 4:6,
"Cleavage" 3:6,
"Jailbait" 3:6,
"Reboot" 2:6,
"Mallard" 1:6.
"Cleavage" 5:6,
Everybody else 1:10
"Jailbait" to go after the jury -6:7,
"Jailbait" To go after audience 7:8,
"Jailbait" to go after somebody, with the chainsaws being heavily
involved - sucker bet,
"Drunk" - to make a detour to Mhairie Hut and/or every pub on the
way - 9:10.
Hello! This is Subreality! Either it'll rain anvils or it will be
sunny with a slight breeze, high at
70s.