Fractions
Seppuku Doll

//One and three, you are here to tell me we can't do this//

"What are you saying, Hinata?" Kiba's voice was low but even, his expression dead and impassive, a mask hiding the hot anger and envy boiling in his stomach and throat.

"Kiba-kun...Naruto asked me...." She trailed off, dropping her pale eyes to examine her fidgeting fingers.

"He proposed?"

//Three for three, I'll disagree.//

The air of his apartment suddenly seemed heavy and rank with her wonderous scent, clogging his lungs. He needed to leave. He needed to punch something in--preferrably Naruto's face.

"What about me, Hinata?"

It took every ounce of strength not to scream, not to turn around and blow a hole in the wall. That would scare her and the last thing he wanted to see was her fear. Her week-long absence should have struck some chord of suspicion in him, but he was so busy being blissfully ignorant that he did not notice. He assumed her to be on a mission, waiting every day like a loyal dog. The comparison was too ironic.

She did not reply to his question.

The door clicked quietly shut.

//Your hair and face against the mirror...//

Of course it bothered him that she was with Naruto. But with Hinata, he was willing to take what he could get and what he could get were the leftovers. She loved the blonde-haired fool with a passion, but somehow, everytime he left, Kiba always found a way to manipulate her. It was wrong, sick even. But it was so much worse not to be with her.

He padded his way to the bathroom, Akamaru silent at his heels. The dog had always been so attuned to his emotions. Much like Hinata.

What made Naruto so much better than him? The mirror gave no answer besides a lonely reflection.

He'd had her once in here after he'd found her lurking in the bathroom while he showered, half-dressed. Apparently, she'd been deliberating on whether or not she should join him. Instead, he joined her, leaving the water's warmth in favor of hers. She was light--lifting her onto the sink was no problem. Oh, how the neighbors complained, their indignant shouts heard through the wall until they were drowned out by the chorus of their moans and the bang of Hinata's head against the mirror.

Snarling, he punched the glass with all the force he could manage, reflective shards tinkling as they shattered. They embedded themselves into his skin but he could not feel it. That small amount of pain paled in comparison to the unfounded betrayal flaring in his veins. She was not his, but God, he wanted her to be.

//As I take the steps to save what's left of me...//

It was past midnight now, whiling away into the morning hours. The bars would be closed now, or closing soon. Liquor stores closed at 9 PM. So when he stepped out into the rain that night, hood pulled up around his head and hastily bandaged, he had no aim. His feet were in control, leading him through the winding roads and back alleys and eventually up unfamiliar stairs.

Into the lair of the fox.

So wrong. It was all so wrong. The fiance was on a mission, he knew this for a fact. ANBU commanders rarely had breaks, especially if they were a certain Uzumaki Naruto. Naruto couldn't offer her the things he could, time being the most prominent. He would convince her of this. She had to know. She had to be with him.

//People steal from you. They take anything they choose.//

Technically, he was hers first. He loved her first. He met her first. The only things he had not done first was ask her to be with him and marry him. Three outweighted two. This train of thought made it easier to ignore his guilt. Really, he didn't have much of a problem with Uzumaki. No problem beside the fact that he had the one thing he wanted most.

//It's good to see you.//

"Hinata."

"Kiba-kun?" Her voice trembled as did her hands, which were desperately clutching a tissue. Her white eyes were bloodshot.

He swore once that he'd never make her cry. A mistake.

"We have to talk." This was how she opened up their previous conversation.

Hinata moved to the side and he entered without wiping his feet. It gave him a dull satisfaction to be tracking mud into this idiot's house until he realized belatedly that she would be the one to clean. Mumbling an apology under his breath, he removed his boots.

"Do you want some tea? I was just about to--"

"No. I want you."

//I missed you last night.//

He never wanted to scare her. He never wanted to hurt her. But he was doing both as he approached her, so tall, so dark. Hinata was easily intimidated and nothing seemed to do that better than a dominating presence. With sharp, jerky movements, he shrugged off his jacket. This was a game of seduction. It always had been.

With each step Kiba took, Hinata matched it with a step back, her eyes focused on his muscular chest barely hidden by thin black mesh. A week of sexual frustration was taking its toll, evident as he backed her against the wall. Wide eyes met his, fraught with fear and what he knew--or he convinced himself--to be want. She was always so expressive. He supposed he loved that best about her.

"We shouldn't...."

"I can't stop thinking, Hinata. I can't stand it. I didn't see you for a week. I missed you. I miss you now."

//That's such a lovely color. It goes with your eyes.//

He crushed his lips to hers, only vaguely aware of her frantic pushes. Her will broke easily, he knew this from experience. Besides, he couldn't pull away now, not when he could taste her lips, sweet and pure like her soul, not when he could feel her slowly easing into him, yielding to his overbearing need. The pushes became pulls, her tiny hands digging into mesh, the brushes of her skin against his electric. He pulled away.

Her cheeks were tinged a lovely shade of pink, as were her parted lips. Pink looked so good on her, especially now, with her cloudy eyes half-lidded. Kiba nuzzled his nose against hers and she responded in the same way, their gazes locked until she initiated another kiss. This was slower than the last, apology, reassurance, and passion mingled in one.

//Before we fall asleep, I just wanted to say...//

The urgency melted down into something more desperate as Kiba slowly unzipped her heavy coat, pulling away to watch as each inch of flawless skin was revealed, amused by the lack of covering beneath. He wanted to convince her with more than just words that he was the one for her.

Her breath hitched as he slipped the coat from her milky shoulders, running his touch lightly over her arms, then resting his palms on her hips and from there, running them up her sides and back to unclasp her bra. It came off with little difficulty, sliding off at his fingers' guidance. Her breasts were wonderful, full and round, topped by pink nipples he had called cute on more than one occasion. He brushed his lips over them, marveling as they rose under his soft breath and careful caresses. She fisted her hands into his unruly brown locks, tugging desperately as he captured the rosy nub in his mouth, sucking tenderly.

She whimpered his name and in turn, he glanced up at her, her skin leaving his mouth with a light pop. He mouthed three words and she turned away, eyes shiny with tears.

//This all seems so easy, but there's choices to make.//

They laid together on the couch, bodies entangled in such a fashion that he couldn't quite tell where he ended and she began. What he did know, however, was that her tears were falling onto his chest, rolling over his abdomen and spotting the cushions, try as he might to soothe her. Kiba could not share in her torn sorrow and for that, he was remorseful. The only emotions he could muster at the moment were utter adoration and satisfaction.

"Come on...I'll take you to bed."

"No." Her voice was scarcely a whisper. "Kiba-kun, you have to leave."

//Can't decide, then look at the faces...//

"So that's it? You pick him over me?"

She shook with sobs, shoulders heaving.

"I-I...don't...kn-know! I...." The rest was inaudible through her tears.

//Candlelight, we're burning the pages.//

"Our history...means nothing to you?"

"Please, Kiba-kun!"

"Please what?"

"Leave...."

//...And hurting ourselves with this false start.//

"You love him this much?"

She could not respond. He could practically feel her heart breaking with guilt. His heart was doing the same. Did he really think he could win her back with seduction and guile? Did he really think she would drop everything to be with him?

//Resign yourself and always be without the one you need, debating words with no replies.//

Hinata didn't move from on top of him and he didn't make her. He didn't caress her. He didn't hold her.

She was not his.

There was no doubt, however, that he was hers. She did not choose to claim him, but then again, he didn't exactly choose to be owned. He told her again, just to see, that he loved her. She didn't answer.

//When we have these mornings where we can't say goodbye.//

The morning surfaced pleasantly, the blinds filling with light. Kiba awoke with Hinata dozing in his arms, and for one brief, perfect moment, things were as they should have been.

Imagine his dismay as another name fell from her lips.

Slowly, he lifted her into his arms. Whether or not she was truly asleep didn't matter much to him; he couldn't find any words to say. So he took her to the bedroom, the only area in this home that had ever been truly off-limits to him. It was obvious why. It reeked of Naruto's scent, a scent so powerful that it almost scared him. When he laid her on the bed, she immediately curled into a ball, wrapping herself around a pillow. She belonged here.

He left without a word or sound.

//I wanted to mean everything to you, but this isn't right.//

He did not ask to see her privately again. It was too risky. Even with others around, he had to stop himself from reaching out for her. He was chained to her will, a will so fragile that he could break it at any moment, as he did that night and many nights before. Each night, she left crying. Before, he had pretended not to notice. His own selfishness disgusted him.

//You keep coming back disassembled and I keep losing this fight.//

It would be two months before she was on his doorstep again, fidgeting. He almost didn't answer the door, but Akamaru wouldn't stop barking.

"Kiba-kun...."

"Hi."

He did not invite her in. If she so much as touched him, it would break his restraint. Two months without her had been like living without air and he was surprised to be alive. For a few minutes, they were both silent.

"You want to talk, don't you?" He asked, trying to mask the exhaustion in his voice.

She nodded timidly. He wanted to say no, he really did, but the expression she wore.... He let her in.

//...Holding our words at lips, stopping the words they make.//

"We're going to be getting married next week."

He bit his tongue.

"Naruto really wants you to come...."

"And what about you?"

"If it makes you...uncomfortable...."

It did make him uncomfortable. Because when that priest uttered those words, he knew his heart would explode. And then when the priest asked the crowd to speak or forever hold their peace, he knew he would speak.

"I'll come."

//We know the way to go, we know what steps to take to be here.//

Dangerous ideas began to surface in his head as he reached out, slowly. She didn't stop him. He rested his hand on her thigh. His heart stopped as she just as slowly raised her hand and covered it with his.

//These words with no reply//

"I love you, Hinata. Don't marry him. Please."

She lifted his hand gently and laid it down on the couch.

//Stopping we and starting I.// Hinata rose and left him. That was closure. The end.

//This need is killing me and taking me over.//

The rest of that week was spent in bars and bottles. He avoided the both of them and he avoided the gossip like plague, sitting in only the darkest areas and emerging in only the latest hours. After the wedding, he would have a mission. Even in heartbreak, he was still a shinobi. An ANBU.

For awhile, he considered intentionally dying during it. Not exactly suicide, not exactly a heroic death.

//I wanted to mean everything to you, but this isn't right.//

But that would be weak. And Kiba was not weak.

//You keep coming back disassembled and I keep losing this fight.//

The ceremony was beautiful, of course. Konoha would have nothing less for their dream couple. It was easily the grandest event that the village had seen in years, decades, even. Kiba was glad to have gone. He was even glad to see Hinata, blushing and grinning as if nothing had ever happened. He did not speak out at the priest's prompting.

The day before the wedding, she had seen him again, broken. She didn't know what to do, she had said. She wasn't sure if she was ready. So he sat her down and with a tender kiss to the forehead, told her to just marry him.

She had put herself back together, and so would he.

After the wedding, he shook Naruto's hand.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks!"

He accepted defeat and forever held his peace.



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