1. Jiraiya first meets Iruka a half week after the Kyuubi attack. He's come home to see his old sensei become Hokage again, and to see his old student's name be carved into the monument. Iruka sticks in Jiraiya's mind for another half week, because Iruka's one of the orphans that's not crying.

2. The second time Jiraiya meets Iruka is after Sandaime's funeral. Jiraiya's waiting for Naruto at the ramen shop, and Iruka waiting for Naruto, too. They spend a few minutes talking, and when Jiraiya leaves, Iruka doesn't quite stick in Jiraiya's mind.

3. During the two and a half years away from Konoha, Naruto talks incessantly about his "Iruka-sensei." It takes Jiraiya nearly four months to put the two together, and realize that Naruto's teacher was the orphan Sandaime was always talking about. When they get back to Konoha, Jiraiya meets Iruka again, and this time, when they part, he remembers Iruka for more than a half week.

4. Jiraiya and Iruka spar in the late afternoons, on days that Iruka's not working shifts in the mission room. Jiraiya finds it boring, but he never tells Iruka so.

5. Iruka knows that Jiraiya's bored, but he never tells Jiraiya he knows.

6. Iruka bests Jiraiya once, and only once. Jiraiya later says it was a dirty trick, and Iruka says he won't ever do it again. After all, it's not easy to fake your own death.

7. Jiraiya and Iruka sleep together a grand total of once. They're not drunk, and they're not caught up in a fit of mad passion. Afterwards, Jiraiya coughs, and Iruka shrugs. They never talk about it.

8. Iruka's not sure what their relationship is. He doesn't think they're friends, but they're certainly not lovers. He wonders if they're acquaintances.

9. Jiraiya's not sure what their relationship is, either. He doesn't want to be acquaintances, and he certainly doesn't want to be lovers. He thinks that they're friends.

10. Sometimes, in the early evenings, they will sit on the roof of Iruka's apartment building. Iruka will correct papers and Jiraiya will work on a manuscript, and sometimes they'll swap papers. Iruka's students will get papers marked in a florid purple pen, and Jiraiya's manuscript will be covered in bright red corrections.

11. Iruka can drink half of Konoha under the table. Jiraiya can drink the other half of Konoha under the table. When they're together, and drinking, they sing. The songs are always old songs, songs from Jiraiya's childhood. He doesn't know why Iruka knows the songs, and he never asks.

12. Once, and only once, Iruka talks to Jiraiya about his parents. Iruka's plastered, and Jiraiya's feeling just as drunk, and so he sits there as the world slowly spins around him, listening as Iruka laughs and cries and chokes on names that no one in the village remembers anymore. By morning, Jiraiya's forgotten the names, too.

13. Once, and only once, Jiraiya tells Iruka all about his students. He tells Iruka about the little girl who died during the chuunin exams, and the little boy who died in the ANBU, and the little boy who died protecting the village. Jiraiya feels very old, and very tired, and so he whispers it all in the dark as Iruka sleeps.

14. They fight exactly three times. The first time Jiraiya says Iruka's too stupid to realize what he's got in Konoha, and Iruka says that if Jiraiya's so wise about that, then why does Jiraiya leave? The second time, Jiraiya says Iruka's too busy feeling guilty for the whole world, and Iruka says that Jiraiya could stand to feel a little more guilt. The third, and final, time, Jiraiya says Iruka should try to do something more than be an academy teacher. Iruka doesn't talk to him for half a week.

15. At first, Jiraiya tries to fix Iruka. Jiraiya doesn't have much patience, though, and he doesn't have much interest in people, or in fixing them; after a while, he forgets all about "fixing" Iruka.

16. Iruka never deludes himself into thinking that he can fix Jiraiya. It'd be hypocritical, and Iruka doesn't think he has that much effect over Jiraiya, anyway.

17. Jiraiya takes Iruka for granted. He knows this, and sometimes he even thinks it's wrong, but he can't stop himself. Everyone takes Iruka for granted, and Jiraiya's just like the rest of them. Iruka's a given, a constant presence that's always going to be there. Jiraiya can't imagine Konoha in any other way.

18. Iruka never takes Jiraiya for granted. He took his parents for granted, when he was a world younger, and he took his sensei and teammates for granted, when he was half a world younger. Now, he doesn't take anyone for granted, because he's far too scared.

19. They never talk about who's going to die first, but sometimes, when they're sitting on the roof, they'll think about it. Jiraiya hopes that he'll die first, because he's tired of watching other people die. Iruka hopes he'll die first, because he doesn't think he can live through losing another friend. Or acquaintance.

20. Sometimes, when Iruka's drinking a cup of coffee and Jiraiya's explaining the plot of another book, Iruka thinks that they really are friends. It's a nice thought.

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